Depression

[missj189]

My boyfriend thinks i have depression.. he told me that i am not normal and i need help just because i feel down & can't stop crying! How can I make him understand how i feel? I am scared because when i try to talk to him about it him seems to get fed up and angry and i am worried that I am pushing away? I feel as if I have no-one to talk to that will understand! I am going to see my GP as soon as I can!

[Robinia]

A lot of people seem unable to deal with depression or mental illness of any kind missj, I think it scares them...and it's not just men, I know plenty of women who are lousy at being supportive to someone who's down. If they can't see the problem and 'stick a plaster on it' they don't know what to do. I think that the best you can do is tell your boyfriend that although you know he doesn't understand you need him to be patient for a while & that he doesn't actually need to do anything other than hold your hand & listen. You're doing the right thing seeing your doctor, I hope you start to feel better soon.

[LoftyLottie2]

Wise answer Robinia.

Men particularly want to offer solutions (they are problem solvers) and because they have no answers just don't know what to do and appear to be impatient and quite annoyed . What they can't understand is that we sometimes need to talk and just need a listening ear and someone to offload to.

A shoulder to cry on can be worth so much. You can get pills for depression, but often just talking to a sympathetic person can be all that you need. Have you a close friend or relation you can talk to?

By all means talk to your GP though.

[luxury]

Hi Missj189,

'Depression' is a word I absolutely hate. So before you start on the addictive, side effect causing drug route that will no doubt be given, have you looked closely at what may be the cause of your crying and feeling so down?

Could it be basic stuff like hormones still fighting, how old are you?

When you see the doc ask to be referred to a counsellor firstly (they do CBT, which is How you think about yourself, the world and other people and How what you do affects your thoughts and feelings.) before the anti D's or even given the samaritans a call whilst you're waiting? they're pretty good at listening when your having a down moment.

Guys don't usually want to deal with us womens ups and downs because it's hard for them to understand. We are such complex creatures hon.... (my other half is, however, regularly put through said mill)....

This is CBT:

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/trea tments/cbt.aspx

Good Luck.

L.

[Beatrice35]

Was a psychiatric nurse before this present neurological condition . Anti depressants are sometimes just what is needed to help with depression- whilst they are not the only cure or necessarily the right one especially by themselves alone- they have a very important role to play in treating many different depressions for sure. There are a number of talking/counsellling therapies available too- which may be an alternative or more commonly a treatment alongside anti-depressant medication. Pleased to hear that you are going straight to your GP- wise first step. MissJ189 follow Robinia's wise words + LoftyLottie2's very good words + luxury made some valid points, too. There are therapies at day centres/day hospitals which can help for people whom suffer with various forms of depression or anxiety, also. Yet, let your GP assess you + treat you first of all. Good luck with everything MissJ189. Try to go easy on your good self, too, please(depression is an illness that can happen to anyone). Gentle hugs, Bea

[LoftyLottie2]

There is a world of difference between feeling down and depressed for a reason and true clinical depression. I suffer from clinical depression and anxiety and it is rare to see me acting as if I'm down or depressed. In fact I probably overcompensate. Only a few close friends know the real me.

A good GP with have a chat with you and not necessarily prescribe drugs. There may be a really good underlying reason why you feel so bad at the moment.

I have taken an antianxiety/anti depressant drug for many years which regulates my brain chemistry and keep me on a fairly level key. They are non addictive and cause no side affects. They are not like tranquilisers and used correctly are a life saver to people like me.

[squillakid]

If you dont feel like going to the doctors go to holland and barret and get yourself l tyrosine" and vitamin d,these should lift your mood straight away if your looking for something that takes a little time to kick in but is more longer lasting you could try "st johns wort" and "5-htp" also "valarian root" capsules,good for feeling relaxed during the day and can be used for a long restfull sleep at night!) i know people that have tried all of these with great success! (and your boyfriend does'nt seem s to be very supportive? Or have i taken this wrong?) Well good luck and if you decide to go with what i say,feel free to come back and share your experience with the rest of us.

[luxury]

Here are the NICE guidelines for antidepressants and treatment of depression.

http://www.nice.org.uk/niceMedia/pdf/2004_50_l aunchdepressionanxiety.pdf

There can be severe withdrawal symptoms from anti Ds, they are physically addictive.

One in particular has cautions and that is venlafaxine.

Be knowledgeable and then you can take those decisions together with the doc.

[ummmm]

Has anything happened to make you feel so down?

[LoftyLottie2]

Good link that Luxury. I am pleased to say that the drug I take falls under this category.

"� Where antidepressants are prescribed for moderate or severe depression it should be a
selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), because SSRIs are as effective as tricyclic
antidepressants and their use is less likely to be discontinued because of side effects."

[Beatrice35]

Would not recommend treating yourself Missj189 with anything herbal or purchased from a health store for your depression, go to doctor's first not Holland and Barrett, please. Live with a neurological condition which is quite different to you. Yet, prior to my neurological condition was a trained psychiatric nurse. Hope you will post here to tell us how it all went with your GP, too. Take excellent care of your good self. Warmest wishes, Bea

[luxury]

Makes interesting reading Lottie :)

So does this:

http://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/pdf/CG23fullg uideline.pdf

It does mention sub types of depression, the ones that have failed on the drugs and psychotherapy and remain on them.

Good luck to you Lottie :) x

[angel21]

I'm pretty sure I am depressed. I have been crying a lot lately and although I have tried lots of things to help me be happier such as pilates, volunteering, applying for a new job I feel like maybe these won't even make me happy. I can't sleep and I need something to change this minute and this has meant that I have thought about walking out of this job which would not be a good idea but I have got to the stage where I am frightening myself that I might actually do this. I am going docs at 4.20 today and I don't even know if I can survive til then either. I wish u all the best and u are doing the right thing going to docs. They will refer you to cbt - I would recommend trying this prior to medication. I have tried 6 sessions of this but it hasn't helped me and I need some more and I fear I may be at the medication stage now unfortnately

[alicebear87]

For those who do not suffer with depression it can be very hard to understand why you can't just 'snap out of it'. If you are depressed try getting this book for your friends/family

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Had-Black-Dog-Matthew- Johnstone/dp/1845295897/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=b ooks&qid=1234886123&sr=8-1

I think herbal remedies can be really helpful but talk to your doctor first and see what they think. Also note that some of the herbal remedies Squillakid mentioned aren't compatible with certain medications, especially St Johns Wort so always check with a doctor or chemist first. However there is no reason not to take them instead of conventional anti-depressants (even if it is psychological I don't care, it helps me!)

[Velvetee]

Just wondered, are you on the pill? Or could your feelings be related to your menstrual cycle?

Your boyfriend doesn't seem to be very understanding or tolerant and your really need someone like that in your life to help you through it.

[missj189]

There has been other things that has made me think I have depression. I am completely fine all day at work (most days) and as soon as I get home to my boyfriend i am like a different person. I am really irritable. I am always tired & want to go to bed & then as soon as I get in bed I cant sleep properly. I have looked at many websites & it seems that I have most of the symptons. I used to be such a happy person & I feel like I am now horrible & making life hell for everyone close to me. I don't really know what to say to my doctor? Should I explain everything or should I just say I think ive got depression? Im hoping its just down to the weather being miserable getting me down.

[Robinia]

missj why not write down all the things you feel & take the list along with to the GP. If you simply say you're depressed he'll ask you why you think that & you might not be able to remember all the things you wanted to say - it's always the way, your mind goes blank! He'll ask you questions to confirm his diagnosis eg one of the most common questions is about your sleep patterns.
Yes, it has been a long winter & we'll all feel better for some spring sunshine. All the best.