fluffing in bed

[ianglyn]

hi everyone,
my wife can't stop farting in bed.
but whats making it worse is that she does it while ASLEEP without herself knowing that she has done it.
i love me wife to bits but as you can tell,SHE'S AT IT NOT!! because its gone 3 am in the early hours of the morning and iv had to come downstair just to get away from the sheet vibrating.she constanty does it without herself knowing,and some times she does it and its that loud and the sheets vibrating that it desturbs herself and wakes herself up while doing soi!!
is there anything that i can get other than a new partner.she says sometimes that she has a bad tummie and blames it on that.let see what i need to stop this other that the list below.
1 block my nose
2 block her nose.
3 nudge her and tell her
4 tell her to stop eating whatever she had the nibht before.
5 make sure she's turn'd the other way.
6 use the spare bedroom
7 give her a cork to shove up her bum.
8 if all fails DIVORCE.

[hippyhoppy]

I don't think fluffing in bed is grounds for divorce.. lol!!

[ladybird49]

Lol... get her a sleeping bag to keep the whiff in

[susan1958]

We all do it, even the Queen I expect. :-)

She might benefit from nibbling on a charcoal biscuit before bed. You can buy them from any chemist. It helps to absorb any gasses in the body.

Don't you fluff in bed then ianglyn?.........................lol.

:-)

[brenda]

If you can't beat 'em , join 'em.!

[Bbbananas]

when I read the thread headline, I thought you meant she went to bed with a hand whisk...

[ChuckFickens]

LOL....

I don't think ianglyn quite realised what fluffing means here :)

[Bbbananas]

I had images of Nigella Lawson with a leer on her ruby-red lips - and thinking what the hell is he complaining about man?

[susan1958]

The man is talking about his wife having wind. Fluffing is a polite way of saying farting, it could even be a dialect thing, but salla...as usual........has to turn it into something smutty.

Take no notice ianglen, she usually confines herself to CB, but this morning has been all over the site spreading inuendos, even the advert section.

[sqad617]

susan......bit heavy on salla.

Farting is NOT acceptable ANYWHERE.......well apart form in the toilet.

Why is it that some people fart all the time and many think it is funny, whemn other people rarely if ever fart in public.

ianglyn......would have to get rid of her.

[R1Geezer]

I'd go with option 9

9. Stop being a prissy annoying tw&t and understand that jam tarting is perfectly natural and take it as a licence to do a few guffs yourself.

You married her, you presumably felt something, are you now so shallow that this is enogh for divorce. I feel sorry for the poor mare, your obviously turning into some sort of p00fter and you need an excuse to do some uphill gardning

Just be thankful that your missus has a digestive system in perfect working order.

Farting is good!

[gucciman]

i have a similiar problem but much worse because i have it in stereo!

the missus is a prolific farter and thinks its really funny, she drops them anywhere anytime any place, she even does it in busy shops then very loudly blames me. she also does it in her sleep and has pebble dashed my leg a couple of times! the worse is when she does it mid sex, puts me right off my stroke i can tell you.

and to top it all her 12 yr old daughter can fart at will, so if her mom drops one the daughter will drop one in reply and then they both fall about laughing.

i did ask her if she wanted a pair of hairy bolx to scratch for xmas as shes jus like an irish navvy !

oh and she burps like a pig too, and can burp tunes!

[gucciman]

and i think fluffing must be a south wales word cos the missus is welsh and thats what she calls it.

whats the rude meaning of fluffing then?

[susan1958]

only sallabananas knows that one apparently.
=-)