The Trouble with Women

[stompe]

They hog the Bathroom!{:)

[stompe]

snap

[hailthechimp]

OOps,had a feeling someone else was going to do the women one!

[NoMercy]

They exist?

They don't know when to shut up?

I think we make a great pair, Stompey! LOL

[stompe]

I agree NoMercy

[China Doll]

I'm never any trouble. I can' speak for the rest of woman kind obviously but I'm a veritable sweetheart. I don't even nag.

[weeal]

Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

[weeal]

Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her while making the woo-hoo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass the wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the woo-hoo sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you.
Have a great day!
Oh, and... Woo-hoo!!!

[legendis.god]

who told stumpy tho ????


















lol


























btw






























??�?�?�? DID I LOL ?�?�?



LOL

[stompe]

Weeal you got it the wrong way round lol

[bensmum]

O weeal - can't stop crying (with laughter) at that last post :D

[weeal]

lol Bensmum its sooooooooo true

[bensmum]

I know weeal - that's what's so funny, I recognise all of that

[NoMercy]

Weeal - have you been reading the Smuggler? LOL

[weeal]

Hi NoMercy whats the smuggler?
lol

Im off to my kip

[NoMercy]

It's an ex-pat joke mag on the Costa Blanca. It's totally non-pc and very bigoted. I saw that one in there a couple of months ago, and one describing a man's/woman's idea of a perfect day. I'll have to dig that one out!