This reminds me there was an actual court case in Dublin decades ago (before we became international and europeanised) when a German tourist was in court for some misdemeanor. In court it emerged he had no english (or pretended he hadn't) .The judge asked if there was anybody in the court who could speak german : one spectator said he did and was sworn in.
The judge said , lets start by asking him his name.
The man said " I vill say this only vunce -Voss ist your neme ?" The place erupted in laughter.
He was actually sentenced to 4 or 5 days for contempt of court (This believe it or not is actually a true story - early 1970s I think)