Elderly mother-in-law debts

[clerkinggirl]

My 83 year old mother-in-law is very young for her age, she runs a bric a brac shop and is fit and well. We have recently reached a crisis point with her as she has spent all of her money - she sold her home and has lived off the proceeds - and her shop is not making any money. Two years ago we organised pension credit for her and she has been living temporarily above my brother-in-laws business premises. However, now my brother-in-law wishes to sell the business which means mum-in-law is effectively homeless. We have found a couple of sheltered-flats for her but she refuses to even look at them. We have tried to help her with her finances (and discovered there are more debts we didn't know about), she is only getting about �300 a month pension (we know she is entitled to more pension credit but she won't provide the accounts from her business so she can get what she's entitled to). We think she is scared that we will tell her to close the shop (which really is the solution as it is costing her �200 a month, leaving her with �100 to live off!!) Every phone call and visit turns into a shouting match, she believes we should be buying her a property - but to be honest we feel she has got herself into her situation and due to her attitude towards us (she continually says rude and hurtful comments to us) we are reluctant to do any more for her. I know there is no magic answer, but would love to hear from anyone whose been in a similar situation.

[Velvetee]

It sounds like a very difficult situation and whilst you can offer to help her, if she is being obstructive and not willing to help herself, there's little you can do.

Also are you sure she has no money? She will not provide accounts for her shop, so is she not wishing to reveal certain things. Perhaps she enjoys being close to the family and doesn't want to live alone in sheltered accommodation?

Perhaps the first step to take, is to contact an organisation like Age Concern, who provide lots of practical advice to the elderly.

[lizzydrippin]

I dont really understand the logic of her having sold off her own property and then to expect you to buy her another one. You've stated that she's young for her age and is also fit and well so why do you feel that its up to you to sort out her life for her. I dont think she can have it both ways, she either needs your help in which case why is she putting up obstacles? or she doesn't need your help and you should let her get on with it. I dont mean to sound harsh at all but it sounds like you've been bending over backwards for someone who doesn't seem to appreciate it.

[terambulan]

emigrate to Australia quick.....lest you inherit her debts!