Cheating or not?

[Sparky888]

Is there any definite way of finding out if a partner is cheating on the other??

I've got a feeling my boyfriend is, but just want to know for sure as it is driving me crazy...can anyone help please??

[kick3m0n]

ask him.  If you have any kind of real closeness between you and you know him well, you'll be able to tell if he's lying or not.  

Of course if he's not cheating, he may be mightily offended by your question, but as you're so suspicious anyway, best get it all out in the open.

[Sparky888]

I have asked him, and he denys it, although he has openly admitted in the past that he is a very good liar!  There are little things that don't add up, so I'm not sure whether I believe him or not??

[Octavius]

Sometimes when people are being accused of something they are not guilty of they will fidget and avoid eye contact.  But as said, the only definite way is to ask him outright as andy suggests.  If he denies it then you have to accept it.  If you don't accept his answer then how can you carry on a relationship without trust, also if you keep on accusing someone of something they haven't done it can get very irritating and damaging to a relationship.

[camille79]

If there is doubt in your mind then he has to go.  The physical cheating bit is small compared to the loss of trust.  Unless you are unreasonable suspicious and paranoid, it would seem likely that he is cheating on you.  In my experience, women's intuition counts for a lot!  My ex denied cheating for months before I split up with him (I wasn't sure and couldn't continue the relationship without trust).  We've stayed in touch and I recently asked him again, non-confrontationally, whether he'd been seeing someone else before we split.  He admitted he had and, what's more, he had had a few illicit snogs and worse at other points in the relationship - obviously I noticed this particular episode of cheating as it was more serious than just a one-nighter. 

[oxeyedaisy]

if you have a gut instinct that he is cheating ..then you are probably right..i wouldnt ask him i would try to get proof ..such as where he is when he is not with you..is he really where he says their are ways of checking..you say he is a good liar well if you ask him then he is only going to lie..i would keep my eyes and ears open..and try to catch him out..give him enough rope to hang himself and catch him out yourself..

[Cristo XX]

I have to agree with oxeyedaisy, Go with your gut.

[paulaoneill]

I agree! Go with the gut - Trust is a vital thing in a relationship.

[helencyoung]

I often think that in relationships you already know the answet to questions like this. I know it's much easier from the outside but go with what you truly feel.