anyone here a Jehovah's Witness??

[Sasha-2008]

My question really is split between Religion & Relationships. My boyfriends parents are Jehovahs Witnesses, and he says that he needs to find the right time to tell them about me. We have been together for over 2 months and he had already met my parents. I am not religious and my boyfriend is no longer a Jehovahs Witness. Is the fact that his parents religious the real reason he has not told them?? Is it really a big deal for his parents to find out about me?? Any help on this subject would be appreciated. thanks :)

[shanilisa]

A close friend of mine's parents are JW's. She was never baptized in the faith, therefore her not accepting their lifestyle and beliefs has not tainted her relationship with her parents. Her sister, however, was and has broken away and the rest of the family no longer have any contact with her.
This is a religion based on "rules" as such and your boyfriend probably has valid fears about "losing" his parents as he is seeing someone outside of the faith.
Be patient with him - this is something that has been indoctrinated in him his entire life and yes, to his parents, this is going to be a huge deal.

[Ankou]

Yes but from what sasha is saying, the brothers have left the faith and one lives with his bird and they all still get along. so i don't think him losing his parents would be an issue in this case????

[Sasha-2008]

Ankou

thats just the thing thats all I know. As I say he won't talk about it.

I'm guessing his parents must have come to accept it tho I'm not sure they are happy about it.

He says they will be fine when he tells them about us, and keeps telling me hoe cool they are. So I just don't see what he's waiting for.

[Ankou]

oh ok, he could just be waiting to make sure you are the 'one'.

I hope so. Best wishes xx.

[Sasha-2008]

All his parents friends are JW and his grandparents are also JW. They are coming down for a vist soon and he is goign to see them.

Sounds like he gets along really well with them, although I'm not going with him to meet them obviously!

[Sasha-2008]

Thats what I feel too.

I'm sure he is sure I am the one yet and thats what he's scared of.

thanks

[Ankou]

yeh, the big c word, commitment.
funny things happen when you get to 30 you know!!!

[Sasha-2008]

lol yeah he's almost 30, maybe thats it. ha ha x

[naomi24]

Hang on a minute. He doesn't live with his parents? So what's the problem with the sleeping arrangements? If they'll allow you to visit, then visit, but don't stay over. Book into a hotel. At 30 he's hardly a starry-eyed teenager who needs to sneak around at night in order to be with his girlfriend. Are you sure there's not more to his story than his parents' religion?

[Sasha-2008]

Naomi

thats what I'm trying to work out. He never talks about them and no he doesn't live at home but visits them regulary and even stays over sometimes as they live very close to where he works.

I'm sure there is something he's not telling me.

my mum seems to think that he may be leading a double life, but I can't think about that.

[beso]

JWs are extremist fundamentalists. Depending on how extreme their chapter is, his parents may risk being ostracised from the church for maintaining contact with non believers. Many families have been torn apart by the church.

I have spent quite a bit of time talking to JWs. They come in a variety of levels of dedication to the extreme beliefs.

Most just stonewall when they get out of their depth in religious discussions with me. However some have walked away from the conversation saying they need to consider what I have said because I raised issues and perspectives they had never before encountered. Others have totally freaked out and run back to their car.

[Sasha-2008]

Beso

I have been reading up on the net about JW's and about what they believe in. Didn't realise their religion was that extreme though.

I must admit that now I think I'm better off not meeting them ever lol.

[naomi24]

Sasha, do you go to his house regularly, and have you met his friends? This all sounds rather fishy to me.

[sn�gs]

When you do first meet them... talk about the dinosaurs... that'll shut them up...

[chinadog]

My cousin was a JW,she sadly died 2 years ago. She had 3 sons and only one of them became a JW. There was no bad feelings or cutting off they all stayed a close knit family. Her hubby btw was'nt a JW. The youngest son married a Jw like himself.

[marie26]

Have you discussed this relationship with your family? And, how do they feel about it, and the heartbreak it may bring. you JWs believe that they are the only ones who will be 'saved'. I doubt if his family will give their son 'up' if they are true JWs.
All good wishes at this time fo you.

[Sasha-2008]

Hey all thanks for all your help.

We have since broken up. I am still unsure of the reasons behind it. Maybe it's the religion but he says it's becasue he has to work away and we won't see each other.

Was very sad, but I'm feeling batter about it now.

Thanks again. xx

[naomi24]

I strongly suspect he's married and the religion excuse was a lie. If so, then you're better off without him. Keep your chin up - there's a whole world out there to look forward to. x