Please help :(

[sugarcult]

Im 17 and I met my best friend when I was 14. Hes been my absolute best friend for years, and then we fell in love. He had a girlfriend at the time, but he left her for me. Everything was great, but we kept the relationship a secret, because we were scared of other peoples reactions, and also Im very private and I didnt like the idea of people knowing...

But then we started arguing, all the time. Id keep picking fights with him, and was always putting myself down and he hated that because he wanted me to feel better but he couldnt, and he couldnt change my mind. He has ADHD and finds it hard to sort out emotions and thoughts and to deal with pressure. He also has severe anger problems, and when he gets angry he gets upset.
Then he kissed his ex while on a ski trip with collage... we went through a really hard time. He begged for my forgivness, and I gave it to him, and he stopped talking to her, but then he said he didnt love me. I didnt know what to do... I was an absolute wreak. That went on for about 2 weeks before he told me he did love me again.

Things were going well until we got into another fight. He said he didnt love me anymore, that he did love me again after he stopped the first time, but now he doesnt. Ive never felt worse in my whole life... he really means everything to me. I cant stop crying... he says he still wants to be my best friend.

It was only 4 days ago that he said he stopped loving me again. He has a lot of exams and is not dealing well... he really puts so much pressure on himself and with the ADHD he says he cant handle the pressure of our relationship aswell.

Having said that, I see him on the bus going to collage twice a day, and we always sit next to eachother. He holds my hand almost every day. On the second day, when he was holding my hand he said that it was in moments like that that he felt like he loved me. He said once that he really wanted to kiss me... also,

[legend.isgod]

This collage you go to.


Is it done with dried macaroni and little pieces of silver foil glued onto cardboard ?

[sugarcult]

Yes we can.

and no, suprisingly, its not, A level collage, do you want to know what subjects Im doing too?

if you havnt heard of an A level collage just let me know :)

[Sachs]

Your whole life is ahead of you! I know where you're coming from, but in time, you'll look back & think maybe it just was'nt meant to be. xxx
leg!

[Schutzengel]

sugarcult. Legend is just teasing you because you can't spell COLLEGE, when you are attending one. It might be a good idea to brush up on your spelling. Best of luck.

[DSnewsKE]

Legliar is renowned for his typing skills. He is known in AB circles as the Fat Fingered Fanny.

[Squitty]

Just ask leg if he still has a squeaky bum from last nights conversation with a young lady and he will go away.

[DSnewsKE]

...do you mean the "grooming" conversation...?

[sugarcult]

oh well, we use computers at college now :) spell check, so I'll be just fine.

And we had another fight last night about this situation I'm just not going to text/call/talk to him unless he talks to me first. I'm not being childish about it although it does sound like it when you say it like that.. he says I'm putting pressure on him, but all I want to do it talk about it.
Hes being horrible to me it feels like he hates me, but if I even say that he flips because he says he doesnt I dont know what I mean to him...

He also says after his exams he thinks he might know how he feels, I'm pretty sure he will. Hes probobly going to say he loves me but my problem now is if I can be in the relationship after everything hes already said to me.

I want it to work out but.. we will have to see..

[Schutzengel]

sugarcult. I'm sorry you are in such a quandary at the moment, but if you are patient and don't pressure your friend, I'm sure it will all work out well in the end.
More to the point, you really do need to pay attention to improving your spelling. Please do not rely on spell-checkers as they are notorious for getting it wrong. For instance a spell-checker only recognises the fact that it sees a word which is correctly spelled, it can't differentiate between an incorrect word which is spelled correctly, and the fact that it is not the correct word for the sentence.
For example if you typed "I have nothing nice to where", the spell-checker would not highlight 'where' as incorrect, when the word should have been 'wear'. The same applies with the words 'accept and except', and there are many more examples. So you see a spell-checker is not good as the user's knowledge of english. Hope this helps. Best wishes. Schutz.

[cazzz1975]

why dont you concentrate on your A levels and let him concentrate on his, Im sure the tension may be exaggerated because you are both stressed out as well as confused. Why not pick yourself up, have a break from each other and concentrate on your education, you can asses your feelings when all the pressure is off and you have both had breathing time.

[sugarcult]

thanks for the advice on the spelling... the spell check thing was a joke though, my spellings fine, really.

And we are kind of taking a break... I know I need to give him space but its hard when I love him and want to be with him, where as he doesnt know if he loves me and doesnt know if he wants to be with me. He might love me, but then again he might not.