Toddlers and nap times.

[Fish the Mod]

My Sister in Law, not the most confident person, has a 15 month boy, Since birth they have a regimented routine of making sure the baby is returned home for its naps ( or not going out in the first place). They will leave family get togethers early and only last week they left a wedding early rather then let him sleep in a buggy. How do I suggest they chill out more or am I in the wrong. I have a 4 year old who when need be slept in the buggie, my arms etc. and he seems fine.

[butterfly76]

Why do some people make their lives more difficult for themselves. I would not be able to base my whole life around my toddlers naps. I think if their routine is that regimented nothing you say will change their minds. Does he only sleep in his cot at home then? he probably wouldnt be able to sleep anywhere else now anyway, too used to it.

[tetherend]

Sounds like they've made a rod for their own back.  If they're that regimental with the baby's naps, they'll probably want to continue this practice.  Once baby grows out of the naps, they will all be able to enjoy a bit more freedom.

[kazza12345]

I guess it's not really any of your business how they bring up their child

[kags]

I agree with kazza12345 - unless they are harming their child then it might be best to stay out of it. We all have different ideas about how to bring our children up - personally I think keeping a good nap routine is a great idea, it's what I did with my children and they were excellent sleepers - but if someone had told me they disagreed with what I was doing I would have been really cross!

[Dark Angel]

Each to their own. Some people leave weddings early because there's an infant at home who needs feeding, and that's life. People modify their social lives to suit their children.  

[woofgang]

There isn't only one right way to bring up a child and when deciding what is right, both the baby and the parents' needs must be considered.

If having this regimented system is not harming the baby and making your sister in law more confident in her parenting, why would you want to change it?

[Chris_B]

We have always made a point of making our daughter have a nap everyday... i'm not bothered where she sleeps just as long as she does and is not disturbed so that she can sleep as long as she wants.

She is now 15 months old and I think this regime has something to do with her sleeping through since she was 5 weeks old!

[silly moo]

In parenting generally , whatever works for the parents and child is best as long as no harm comes to the child.
We all do things differently.
We even do different things with each child - what works for the first doesn't necessarily work for the second.

[lynsay27]

i have 3 children and i stopped them havin naps at one and a half, u cant live ur whole life round naps, theyll look bk in a few years and think of the time they missed gettin their baby to sleep,, at the end of the day, if the child is tired he or she will fall asleep where ever,kids r great for fallin asleep at the table i think.

[louadams6]

you should rule your children not let them rule you!!! It will only make their lives more difficult as the child gets older i think! I think you could tell them to chill, but my guess is they will realise as the newness wares off and they realise theyre not living their own lives anymore! I do exactly the same with my daughter as you do with your child let her sleep in buggy etc. it does them no harm whatsoever. Children have to learn that the world does not revolve around them!!!!

[curiosity]

I believe that a relaxed parent who allows spontanaeity, like staying at a function when they want to if they are enjoying themselves, and letting their child sleep in their buggy or on two chairs put together , Is far better for the child than one who gets irritated and feels stifled by the need to leave because of the child. i'm not saying your sister in law felt like this. However if you felt the need to post a question about her parenting, perhaps she feels like she's being judged and didn't feel confident enough to let her child sleep in the buggy for fear of being called a bad parent?

[curiosity]

Sorry if that sounded harsh on you, I fully understand the situation you are in, some of my colleagues seem to make life harder for themselves with babies. I don't say you should do this, I usually say oh well we did this ...because, and the because was usually that it didn't stress us out , and wasn't causing any harm.

[woofgang]

well yes and no offence, but provided the parents and baby are both happy, what's the problem? If someone suggested to you that you should do something differently in a situation where there was no problem, how would you feel, especially in a situation so sensitive as care of your first child?

[kick3m0n]

each to their own would be my advice.  if it suits them, and there's no probelm, why would you add your advice?   We all take to parenting and muddle along in our own way, working out what suits us and our little ones.  At our Mothers and Toddlers group, there are huge variations in the ways we bring up our babes, but I wouldn't dream of butting in or offering advice, unless it was explicitly asked for.  If your sister in law is, as you say, not the most confident person, I can't see that she would react well to what would appear to be criticism of her parenting skills, albeit that you meant well.  it's a tough one - good luck.

[Le Chat]

Sometimes it's the parents who feel that they can cope better when they have a very rigid regime! Also. some children function better when they have set sleep times. My son (17mths) always sleeps in his cot from 1.30 - 3.30 pm every day.He knows it's sleep time and loves it. Plus he wakes up all refreshed! On saying that, if we were at a function, he would have to sleep in his buggy!!! (Unless the function was a bore and an excuse was needed for an early departure!)