Have you heard the one about....

[Joy11]

eeerrr, perhaps not eh? LOL
What has made you wish the ground would open and swallow you up, or made you cheeks flame with embarrassment ???

[mrs.chappie]

I once got a lift to work, then at home-time forgot and thought my car had been stolen.

I got as far as being on the phone to the police, before I remembered ...... Hey lass, you could've toasted a slice of bread on my cheeks.

[Joy11]

lol@mrs c

[Jan1957]

It was in my local pub and I was just resting my bottom on the windowsill underneath which was a radiator when I felt a bit of windy pops. The music was quite loud as it was a Saturday evening so I thought I'd be ok just to let off a sneaky one but just as I did the music stopped and it turned out to be noisier than I was expecting and rattled all along the radiator. Everyone turned to look at me and it suddenly got very hot in the pub (that's my excuse for my red face) but I had no choice but to hold up my hands and say sorry. It took me a long time to live that down!

[craft1948]

I've done something similar mrs.c...................I had about half a dozen people looking around this large car park for my car when I suddenly remembered I'd parked it elsewhere............I was so embarrassed I daren't own up so thanked everyone and said I was off to phone the police..

[Joy11]

jan that is class,
hiya craft pet nice to see you (both) x

[sqad617]

Was doing a GP locum in Nottingham and I rang the bell for the next patient and nobody came, so I rang the bell again and a young man and a woman come in. The woman wanted to know if she was pregnant and I directed them to the examination room with the orders...strip to the waist.
I pushed passed the bloke and examined the woman who she was about 16weeks pregnant.
As she sat on the examination couch with no knickers on and no skirt, I turned to the bloke and said..."congrats she is pregnant"
He replied " I couldn't care a toss as I don't know her.

He explained that the bell went twice and they both came in together, and she took her knickers and skirt off in an examination room with a bloke that she had never met.

[Joy11]

ummmm, might do a place-name quiz to brighten us up a bit ???

[Joy11]

sqad, that is soooo funny, you have made me laugh out sooooooo loud with that

[elcee45]

New neigbours moved in and in the course of conversation with the chap I mentioned his Mum only to be told it was his wife. I was mortified.

[abbie1977]

About 10 years ago a friend of mine had a baby boy. I was at uni at the time and thought i would go and visit her in the hospital. So, I bought her a huge bunch of flowers, a balloon, a wee teddy for the baby and some choccies. I wandered into the ward she was in and then looked at her face. She was doubled over laughing at me, I had only gone and bought her a "Congratulations, Its a girl!" balloon, a pink teddy and a big bunch of pink flowers. I could have died! She had to give it all to the woman accross from her who had just had a baby girl! lol.

[mrs.chappie]

Hey craft, I couldn't even blame it on old age .... I was only in my thirties at the time.

[:o(

[chrisrob]

I had been teaching in a temporary classroom where every sound echoed.
As I dismissed the children at the end of the day, I felt an urge to break wind. I kept my cheeks tightly clenched until the last "little dear" had left and let out the noisiest, most satisfying rip.
Then I looked round to find one child still sitting in his seat!

[sqad617]

chrisrob........did you blame him for the noice....LOL

[craft1948]

mrs c...........so was I..............