how would you react?

[bubbles4920]

my friend whose boyfriend lives with her and her two kids got an anonymous letter through the post the other day. it said that her boyfriend is cheating on her. she believes it though there is no evidence of it. i keep telling her its just someone trying to break them up. what do you think? how would you react if that dropped through your letterbox?

[I.Don No]

show the boyfriend the letter and watch his reaction. if she has known him long enough she will know by his reaction whether it is true or not.

[China-Doll]

I'd rip it up.

[Jan1957]

I would show it to him as well. If she is living with him they are a partnership and he should at least know what she is going through. This will play on her mind otherwise and she will never know whether or not to trust him.

[China-Doll]

I'd agree with you Triggs except bubbles has already said there's no evidence. I'd be more inclined to be on my toes if I'd noticed signs myself but just somehting that turned up out of the blue with no rhyme or reason to it would probably only get a raised eyebrow and a mention over a bottle of vino about three weeks later when I remember to tell them!

[bubbles4920]

she hasnt said anything yet, looking for evidence. it is eating her up inside though, he is on the mortgage so she wonders where she will go with 2 small kids, which arent his by the way. i dont know if its best to confront him or not so dont know what to advise

[Squitty]

I'd post it through nexxt doors - it was obviously meant for them ;0)

[Eve]

Hard one that.

A friend of mine was cheated on by her now ex husband and she no idea. Even looking back she didn't see how he had time to cheat but it turned out it was someone at work so they'd been seeing each other during the day round work.

I also came across a partner of a friend I used to work with and who had just had their baby all over another girl from where I used to work. Had a horrible time wondering what, if anything to do about it and, although it turned out that they had actually split at this point, some other friend's advice was to send an anonymous letter.

I've also caught someone cheating on me...bloody hell, I'm just pessimistic through experience!

I'd have to have some kind of resolution to it, I just couldn't leave it and forget about it.

[philandlil]

Can't you follow him for her?

[bobbybob]

I had the same done to me a few years back, but I new my boyfriend would never do that, he just wasn't the sort. I showed him the letter, then we threw it away and got on with our lives.

[gossipgirl]

i would be very dubious of the letter if there is no contact number at least at the bottom, if someone really felt they need to tell you something like that then surely they should do it face to face or at least speak to the person. I think your friend should mention it to her boyfriend though and see what his take and reaction is to it, even if its just to put her mind at ease.

[Ice.Maiden]

If a letter like that dropped through our letterbox, I'd do as bobbybob suggested, but if your friend has reason to be suspicious anyway, she'd be better off showing it to her bf, if only to judge his reaction to it.

[NOX]

Throw it away. Letters like that are never from well wishers. If it was someone genuinely trying to give her a heads up then they wouldn't have done that. That's simplistic sh1t stirring, and theyre hoping to sit back and watch the sparks fly....OR it's from the person he's being unfaithful with and she's hoping it'll split them up, but for now i'd ignore it personally.

[4getmenot]

I;d chuck it away with the bloke I;m with now coz he wouldnt ever do it to me and I trust him 100%, if it was with my last bloke well I;d kinda believe it but not want to and I;d get upset about it and then show him and get rid. It depends what her bloke is like and how much she does trust him, if she believes it already chances are she doesnt trust him and he most likely has been cheating

[4getmenot]

Its not always someone trying to cause trouble either it could be someone that hates seeing this bloke do this to her and feels sorry for your friend but is not a good enough mate to tell her to her face

[SizzleSquid]

hmm-tricky one. Ive seen instances where people have dropped anonymous letters though the door and its been true, mostly from the woman who is cheating with the boyfriend who doesnt want the girlfriend to know who she is for various and obvious reasons.
It'll be stupid to totally ignore it, i mean of course it could be a hoax from a **** person trying to upset their relationship for whatever reason but the whole point is evidence or no evidence somebody is saying her boyfriend is cheating. True or not she should get to the bottom of it.

[Aprilis]

My thoughts are that it's the possible 'other woman' who has most to gain from a stunt like that and personally I'd not find it easy to ignore. There's no convincing me that it was done as a friendly warning with good intention. But then I'm a natural born cynic.

Not that I'd give anyone the satisfaction of reacting to it until I had enough information to be certain. There's no way I'd show him the letter, because if he is cheating, forewarned is forearmed and he'd be a lot more careful to cover his tracks. I would be discreetly on the lookout for any other signs and not doing anything until I was sure I had facts to back it up with. If he's innocent then there'll be no real evidence to say otherwise.

It's all very well saying throw the letter away, but that doesn't fix anything. The seed has been planted now, whether the letter still exists or not. Your friend won't be able to help being more vigilant in future whether her bf is innocent or not. It's a perfectly natural human trait to protect one's own interests.

[bubbles4920]

my friend is even saying now that she wants to see if the fingerprints and handwriting can be traced using the police but would they go to that much trouble. surely there would be loads of prints on the letter itself now as shes shown it to a few people at least?

[bubbles4920]

sorry to ask again but my friend is driving me nuts. is it possible to get fingerprints off this anonymous letter and envelope. i keep telling her too many people have touched it anyway.