Confused emotions

[Simon D.]

Ok here is how it is, met a nice girl on a blind date, she agreed to see me again but at the same time she is tied up with some serious revision for her final exams which she has to pass in June. Only see her during day at weekends that's if she has free time from her 5 yr daughter. She says she likes me and says that after June and her exams she will get her life back and is looking forward to having fun so I have been patient with this. Met her parents last Sunday and got on really well with them. However I don't hear from her, she does not make calls to me nor does she text me and very often does not even reply to my text or emails! - didn't think is a lot to ask really considering she says she is keen on me? It would be really nice if I received a text out of the blue saying that she is thinking of me or missing me ....but nothing! Really don't know what to do, very confused, am I wasting my time? Feel that she is not really interested in me. I know she is under a lot of stress with exams but hey this is supposed to be the start of a new relationship but I do not see any enthusiasm from her?
Would really appreciate AB's thought on this.

Many thanks.

[China-Doll]

How often are you texting or emailing? I get annoyed if I'm expected to maintain a constant communication with someone I'm dating... It's nice to actually talk about what's been going on over the past few days in person rather than meet up and find myself saying 'I told you that already didn't I?' Also, if I get something via text or email that doesn't need a response straight away, it generally doesn't get a response straigh away.

It sounds like you feature enough in the things that matter which is her family.

[Simon D.]

I'm 49 and she is 37 in August, yes I see where you are coming from but I don't hardly text her at all as I dont want to bother her too much as I know she has a lot on her plate. Last time we left things she said that we will speak during the week so I'm gonna see if she does this. Even when we are together there is no bodily contact from her she doesn't reach out for my hand when we are walking for example or put her arm through mine...just little things like that that make me question things. The only time I get kissed is when we are saying bye!

[ummmm]

Opposites attract....

[China-Doll]

Leaving it to see if she gets in touch sounds reasonable to me.

[Simon D.]

Don't you think though that if two people embark on a new relationship usually they both make an effort to show the interest, especially in the early days and especially in this case where there is minimal quality time for both parties?

[China-Doll]

I think it's subjective to whatever is going on in your life at the time and the two people involved. I tend not to make too many judgements on other peoples relationships... Different strokes and all that and I'm hardly one to talk from a pedalstool.

If it's causing you that much grief then have a chat with her about it, she might not even realise she's doing it or have very good reasons.

I do tend to think that the inital stages of a relaitonship should be given over to fun and exploring each other (not just physically!) rather than jumping in feet first though.

[pastafreak]

I hate to say this...but if she is in the middle of revision...and I am assuming this may be for University...then she is most likely immersed in a stack as tall as you of books,notebooks,loose notes everywhere.empty coke bottles,stale pizza, the considerable bits and bobs of her child, toys...etc.

Now-rereading this thread..I see that she is a mature lady......so it may not be as bad as the above. But if she is juggling so many things...does she also work?....then SOMETHING has to go on the back burner. It doesn't mean she is not interested...but she has HAD to set priorities,and a full-on relationship would have been way too much of a distraction. Let her get past her exams,then see if things develope into something more closely resembling a real relationship.....THEN you can make more of a judgement about how things are progresing.

[Simon D.]

Thank you AB's for your very useful answers, certainly taken comments on board and perhaps I am getting too worked up over nothing.