Becoming a Mum

[buchanan]

How did you mums cope? How difficult was it getting into the routine, particularly if you were a bit disorganised and messy beforehand.

[spudqueen]

Hi buchanan, I'm a Mum of 2, still messy but a bit more organised since having children. My husband says that I've got quite a strict routine with the children, I think you have to have, otherwise you'd never a) get out of the house when they are babies, b) get to toddlers/preschool/playschool on time when they are a bit older c) be able to remember all the things they need for school (uniform, reading book, signed letters,etc etc. Don't worry, you'll find yours (and your babies) own natural rhythm and settle into your own routine.

[FP]

You will cope, don't worry.  Don't expect too much of yourself and don't try to be a 'perfect' mum.  All babies are different and you will soon learn what is right for you and your babe.  Don't listen to too much well intentioned advice as to what you should or should not be doing.  Just do what is right for your own little family.  Try to get out every day if only for a walk in the park - this will keep you more relaxed and the exercise will help you not to get stressed.  Enjoy your baby.  What he or she needs most is love, food and security.  He or she will not care a jot whether you are disorganised and messy.

Make a little time for yourself as well.

[kick3m0n]

I've got one who's 19mnths old,  I was never one for having regular days for cleaning the house/weekly shop etc, just kind of muddled through and did things when the need arose.  I must admit that I'm a bit better these days - probably through the necessity of having to be more organised for our wee munchkin.   That said, it may help that I'm a full time mum, so don't have to fit chores etc in around a 9-5 job as I used to.

The first 6 months were quite difficult, looking back.  Wee guy wasn't too quickly into a routine and got colic which didn't help and with him being our first, it was a new era and we all had lots to learn about each other.  The key for us then was just to concentrate on doing the things you had to do (and these were usually baby orientated) and letting other things slide (housework etc).  

I do agree about getting out daily.  Whether it's Mothers and Toddlers (which I found great - just to talk to other mums in teh same position) or a walk to the park/shops, it definitely makes you feel better, and baby nearly alwaqys enjoys being outdoors. 

[ALLO]

i'm a mum of two. i'm a clean freak! and my house is still clean and organized. the hardest part for me was with my first child. that was trying to stay up with him till 12;00am. i thank god for my mother in law! she helped me out alot. mabey too much. i left alot on her. but with my second, i have her all the time. i learned a big lesson. my son never wanted me cause i was never with him. it hurt alot, so with my daughter i stayed home with her. she loves her mommy. i have formed a bond with my son now. but i missed out on alot with him. being a mommy is the best job ever!

[buchanan]

Thanks to you all for your excellent advice!

[Otrere]

Becoming a mum is the most fantastic thing in the world... nothing can prepare you for the love you feel for your child.

All I can say is, sleep when your baby sleeps if you can - stuff the housework - your health and wellbeing are far more important and getting plenty of rest when the opportunity arises then take it.

Turn the phone off. Stick a sign in you window, something along the lines of "Mum and new baby asleep, please do not disturb".

And accept any offers of help you can - don't try and do it all yourself. Its more important that you are healthy and happy in yourself - happy mum equals happy baby.

If you have visitors to see the newborn, get them to make themselves a cuppa - they won't mind and will understand.

You will find your own ways to cope and you will do it. And don't worry if you're still in your dressing gown at midday - I was for weeks!

Good luck!

[mycatis]

I think people worry too much. Too many people go into parenthood thinking "Oh it will all be sleepless night and crying and stress" Please dont, If you go in with that attitude then you wont enjoy it. I was never maternal and while I knew I would love my baby when he was born it totally blew me away, How come no-one vere told me how much fun it was? It can be brilliant fun, just let yourself go at home in the street whatever. Who cares what other people think, I often do big dramatic death scenes in the street after play sword fighting with my son

[buchanan]

Thanks Otrere and Mycatis - had my first scan this week and am now feeling more excited than fearful as it all seems more real now.