Crosswords4 mins ago
Shall I ask her out? (Sounds pathetic but, read on)
7 Answers
Hey just wondering something. Can't be bothered to go into too much detail but, there's this girl I like. We met at Boxing and because I've had exams the past few weeks she's let me study at Uni with her because she's doing Post Graduate studies and has an office and because my house is annoying loud and hard to concentrate.
The problem is I'm 17 (18 in 2 weeks) and she's 26. We get on well, she laughs at my god awful bad jokes and she doesn't freak out if I do something like playfully touch her or whatever. I'd like to get to know her better however there's a few problems:
1) The age thing, if I asked her out would she just laugh it off because I'm so much younger than her
2) I'm not sure whether she likes me as a friend or whether she sees me as a potential partner, Her body language is so hard to read and I think she just views me as a friend. (Even though we've hung out outside Boxing like twice)
3) She's really busy (like working 12 Hour days) so if I were to suggest going out for coffee or something she might say no on that basis
So do you think I should ask her out or wait and see if I get stronger signals to see if she actually likes me or not. She hasn't exactly been flirty just friendly and nice so I could wait and see if she does but, then I could fall into the "friend zone" and I'll never be able to ask her out. Or I could ask her out now and she might reject me. So the question is what should I do?
The problem is I'm 17 (18 in 2 weeks) and she's 26. We get on well, she laughs at my god awful bad jokes and she doesn't freak out if I do something like playfully touch her or whatever. I'd like to get to know her better however there's a few problems:
1) The age thing, if I asked her out would she just laugh it off because I'm so much younger than her
2) I'm not sure whether she likes me as a friend or whether she sees me as a potential partner, Her body language is so hard to read and I think she just views me as a friend. (Even though we've hung out outside Boxing like twice)
3) She's really busy (like working 12 Hour days) so if I were to suggest going out for coffee or something she might say no on that basis
So do you think I should ask her out or wait and see if I get stronger signals to see if she actually likes me or not. She hasn't exactly been flirty just friendly and nice so I could wait and see if she does but, then I could fall into the "friend zone" and I'll never be able to ask her out. Or I could ask her out now and she might reject me. So the question is what should I do?
Answers
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I'd ask her for coffee. If she is interested, she will make time for you, and you can see how it goes.
Otherwise, why not the cinema of theatre? Then there is an 'end of the night' moment, which you handle as follows.
Make eye contact and hold it. Slowly move as if to kiss her. She will either move towards you, in which case you kiss her, or she will turn her facce slightly away, in which case you kiss her lightly on the cheek.
Either response means you have your - and her - dignity intact, and you know how to proceed. Good luck and let us know.
Otherwise, why not the cinema of theatre? Then there is an 'end of the night' moment, which you handle as follows.
Make eye contact and hold it. Slowly move as if to kiss her. She will either move towards you, in which case you kiss her, or she will turn her facce slightly away, in which case you kiss her lightly on the cheek.
Either response means you have your - and her - dignity intact, and you know how to proceed. Good luck and let us know.
Go for it but take your time. If you are suited it will happen anyway at its own speed but you can help it along.
At 26 she will have a much better idea of what she wants in a man than women your own age who are so often chasing exactly the wrong sort of man. Women her age are experienced and already had guys before who are just after her body so don't come on like one of them.
It is quite possible she could fall in love with you, want to settle down and have a family. Are you comfortable with this possibility? Are you ready to forgo the opportunity to investigate other relationships? Would you eventually feel like you missed out?
Personally I was quite happy to settle down without the breadth of experience most people seem to expect.
I met both my partners when I was 20. They were both nearly eight years older than me and I had never had a girlfriend. Both were wanting to settle down and have children.
I eventually married the one I should have gone with in the first place after spending nearly seven years with the other.
No regrets for not having a wide range of experience. I see myself as less damaged by avoiding it. But a lot of guys eventually feel like they mised out on something.
While a variety of sexual experience sounds enticing the depth of what can be developed with a life partner is far more rewarding.
Sexually the age difference is the ideal. A lot of women peak in their mid thirties and need a guy who isn't already on the decline. Worked by us and we are still pretty well sexually tuned as I am about to reach 50.
At 26 she will have a much better idea of what she wants in a man than women your own age who are so often chasing exactly the wrong sort of man. Women her age are experienced and already had guys before who are just after her body so don't come on like one of them.
It is quite possible she could fall in love with you, want to settle down and have a family. Are you comfortable with this possibility? Are you ready to forgo the opportunity to investigate other relationships? Would you eventually feel like you missed out?
Personally I was quite happy to settle down without the breadth of experience most people seem to expect.
I met both my partners when I was 20. They were both nearly eight years older than me and I had never had a girlfriend. Both were wanting to settle down and have children.
I eventually married the one I should have gone with in the first place after spending nearly seven years with the other.
No regrets for not having a wide range of experience. I see myself as less damaged by avoiding it. But a lot of guys eventually feel like they mised out on something.
While a variety of sexual experience sounds enticing the depth of what can be developed with a life partner is far more rewarding.
Sexually the age difference is the ideal. A lot of women peak in their mid thirties and need a guy who isn't already on the decline. Worked by us and we are still pretty well sexually tuned as I am about to reach 50.
Don't want to burst your bubble, but you haven't really indicated that she has shown any interest in you at all. I would tread carefully, she may see you as a child, as you're still at school (I assume doing your A-levels). I don't mean this in a hurtful way, but she may see it more as a mentoring realtionship.
Asking her out for coffee or something casual would be the best way..
I agree age is just relative, but it gets less important as you get older. I just want you to have your eyes open.
I hope it works out well for you. Good luck!
Asking her out for coffee or something casual would be the best way..
I agree age is just relative, but it gets less important as you get older. I just want you to have your eyes open.
I hope it works out well for you. Good luck!
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