My Mum

[Nick.cotton]

I think my old mum has blown a fuse she said she is gonna marry some bloke called Knobby. Why would me mum Dot want to get hitched at her time of life. I asked her to lend me a deep sea diver for a pint and she just snapped saying all her money was needed for the wedding

[whifffey]

knobby is already married, so he is not available. His loving wife has recently walked out on him, which is awful. There is a scurrilous rumour that she was bald.

[Jimbo-branin]

Oi sonny jim.

I am married to our dot and this bloke knobby is not going to get his hands on my lovely sweet dorothy

[Philmitchleg]

Oiii wasssuppp?


Youre avin a girfffe int yerrr?



luverrly dotty cotton getting hitched to knobby ?


ill hit him a dry slap

[Nick.cotton]

Jimbo can you lend us a few bob mate as she as gone as tight as a goldfish's bum since Knobby asked for her hand

[Nick.cotton]

Phil hav you got a few pounds ya can spare mate

[Philmitchleg]

look you serllllaaggg


if i see you in my pub again


illl knock ten shades of sh1te out of you



allright treacle???

[Nick.cotton]

But Dot and Knobby are avin the do in the Queen Vic have a heart mate

[Philmitchleg]

Well they can av it at the bleedin community center

i aint avin no dagenham serlaggg ere in my east end pub

he can get down that frog and toad or ill kick him in his family jewels

understand ?

[Jimbo-branin]

Gerrrrrcha you effin heathens

[Nick.cotton]

I think this will be the wedding of the year

[carrot99]

this is actually better than Eastenders which I haven't watched for months! I particularly liked the "treacle" reference recalling the early days with Pete Beale.

[Nick.cotton]

Pete may be on later

[mrs.chappie]

Errr ... carrot, I think you'll find it was 'tweacle'. I used to watch EE in those days ..... seems like only yesterday.

[:o)

[carrot99]

you are so right mrs.chappie - I expect philmitchleg is just putting too much of himself into the character of dead pete and that disrupted the speech impediment! Possibly playing two men who'd both married Kathy is a challenge for him! I can't wait for the Oscar speech.....