Which is worse?

[RainbowBrite]

Cheating on your partner, or messing around with someone who you know is in a relationship? I always thought cheating on your partner would be the worst but then it seems so immoral to get involved with someone who you know is taken, especially if you know the person they're with. What do you think?

[kazzee69]

I think both are pretty wrong but if you cheat on your partner you are causing hurt and pain to someone you know and love (?)...  however if you are with someone who has a partner then it must be easier to detach yourself from the emotion towards them because you don't know them or maybe resent them for being the one in the open relationship with your partner. (am I making sense?) I am not proud to say that I know people who have done both and there is always a background reason for things like this.. like they are running away from actual relationship problems  but I am not justifying it. xx

[Hippy]

Even if the relationship person should repeadedly ask, venture no opinion or sighting of the partner of the relationship person. If it is a "bit of fun", even though it is possible to fall madly and deeply etc., intervening in the other's relationship, for whatever resons, almost always results in grief for ALL, you included, and it never ends up happy ever after!.

If it is you in the relationship and you are playing away, then prepare to live in a house of secrets, dodging reflections and shadows, and the eventual demise of your relationship. May be not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some time soon and for the rest of your life.

[mynaisir]

If you are single and you sleep with someone, who have your actions hurt? No-one*.

If you are in a relationship and sleep with someone who is not your partner, without your partner's permission, and get found out, who have your actions hurt? Your partner.

* although, obviously, you can argue that if you sleep with someone who is in a relationship, you hurt their partner, I'd argue it's more the actions of the person in a relationship, not yours, that are causing the hurt.

[Englishbird]

Which is the lesser of two evils? I agree with the above, generally i would say the person in the relationship or marriage is the one that has made the promise to their partner and therefore their betrayal is the greater.

However I don't subscribe to this "I'm single so i can do what i want" attitude that all too many people seem to have.  We are all responsible for the feelings of others, and the way we treat others.  It's very easy not to have an affair with someone in a relationship - just don't go there, don't even entertain it.  The damage done by infidelity is so wide spread.  As someone who had to grudingly keep someone elses secret for a long time,  no-one ever comes out a winner.

[hinge1967]

Its all relative really and dependent on circumstances.