Donate SIGN UP

A message from Gordon...

Avatar Image
sn�gs | 16:58 Thu 16th Jul 2009 | ChatterBank
5 Answers
10 Downing Street
London SW1


Dear People of the United Kingdom,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided it self in the amount of **** it gives out.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.

Sincerely,

Gordon Brown
Gravatar

Answers

1 to 5 of 5rss feed

Best Answer

No best answer has yet been selected by sn�gs. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.

For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
My dad has this one faxed to him at work a few years back. I was thinking about this very joke the other day !!!
How acronymonious:)
Question Author
Well I'm glad to have been some help..

...unlike Gordy...
LOL Stewey !! Clever word, that.......
Hilarious but true..

1 to 5 of 5rss feed

Do you know the answer?

A message from Gordon...

Answer Question >>