Children in care - how do you get them home.

[catherine22]

Last Nov, I was charged with assault on my daughter. My daughter was placed on the at risk register under emotinal abuse. In May I was found not guilty at court. At the end of December 2008 she was diagnosed with ADHD. At the end of March 2009 she was diagnosed with ASD. At the end of March my daughter had for several weeks shouted do not hurt me mummy. This was reported to several professional bodies. My neighbour came around and I explained I may have caught her when she went to push me down the stairs but i did not smacked or harrn her in any way. My neighbour reported me to social services. I had already informed my social worker. Af ew weeks later I was informed my case had been refered to the legal department and no further action would be taken. 5 weeks later the police arrested me. My bail conditions were no unsupersived contact with my daughter or anybody under the age of 16 due to been on bail for similar offence. My daughter was placed on an EPO and then an interm care order. I have attended police bail 3 times. I have been told my case is with the CPS and I cannot have my bail conditions changed. I have had my case trnsfered from the magisteres court to the county court. The interm care order cannot be invoked until my bail conditions are changed or I am charged. The witnesses from the 1st trial are been recalled to give statments. The second incident that a decesion has not been made on, these witnesses are been called. I am on trial again to find out if these alleged crimes happened. Social services are not adhering to the directions and not providing required documents on time. In October we are having a 5 day court trial. A final hearing has not been made yet. Also due to my daughter's behaviour she has had 3 foster placement. Her latest foster career lives 45 minutes from her home. I just want my daughter home, please if anybody has any knowledge or help they can suggest.

[buildersmate]

Hmm, rather difficult to do counselling sessions over the internet.
Is there a good friend you can talk to for support, perhaps?

[Dee Sa]

maybe talk to a probation officer ? a 5day court trial seems an awful long time uless this is very serious. will the court let you write to your daughter ? how old is she ? probably this will all be sorted out in October, but it must be a very unhappy time for you, will the girl's father be willing to make contact ?whatever you do,pls dont defy the court.
I hope things work out well for both of you, no doubt in October the court will ask your girl does she want to come home and a lot will depend on her answer.
Dee

[pinktwink]

you may not like my anser but i work with SS so am clear about what is required.
Did your daughter give an interview. Firstly you need to admit you were stressed and under pressure as a parent. Do not use her behaviour as an excuse for hittinh her. Own up and seek to access parenting classses to improve your skills. Also seek individual support for yourself to allow you deal with the difficulties you endure. Take up all the recommendations by SS and even ask them for a written list of criteria that you need to do to have your child considered to return. Attend all your access. As hard as it may be to have this supervised use this time to prove your parenting capacity. Do not bad mouth SS or carers in front of your child . Help her manage her experience of care reassuring her of your love and support.
Are there any family members that could offer a placemen for your child. Talk to your family and propose a family plac ement.

[oldmaggie]

Has your daughter been given a guardian? Have reports from CAFFCAS been ordered? What age is the child? Are you having regular supervised contact? Have psychological reports been ordered? Do you have a good solicitor? Sorry could go but whatever you do try to keep sane and don't do anything silly. Hopefully things will work out for you

[dot.haukes]

pinktwink, giving her the answers on how to appear to be the ideal case for the SS will not help catherine in the long term realise and address the fundamental problems that have caused the break down of her relationship with her daughter, catherine should be shown how to come to the conclusion herself surely, is it not better to offer catherine parenting guidance rather than give her ideas on how to pretend to be doing what the SS would want? That's not me trying to offer anything but an honest insight, I know nothing about the issues , it just seems now would be the time for catherine to show genuine resolve to mend the relationship

[pinktwink]

dot i am not telling her how to present in an ideal way as SS will see through tthat we are professionally trained. It is often that parents believe by admittting to mistreating their children then they will loose them when in fact its the opposite. SS are expected to be very clear with all parents of children in care, what is required from them if their child is to return. The advice i have given is what we tell parents everyday, the problem is in the fac most dont avail of or buy in to it. SS see through parents who are as we say " walking the walk"

[dot.haukes]

ahhh, ok, it's clearer now, and I hope catherine gets that aspect , she seems intelligent enough from her grasp of the court process

[oldmaggie]

SS are running scared at the moment due to the babyP case. So we are seeing huge amount of EPO's (emergency protection orders) and ICO's ( interim care orders) going through family court with some very flimsy proof of ill treatment / neglect / abuse etc.

[pinktwink]

old maggie I work as a team manager in the ROI and you need preeof to get any oreders to remove children from their parents acer. Yes baby P shook the system, but too often children are left in situations far too long.
I am all for children growing up with their parents or relatives where possible but not at any risk to the child.
Our system in ireland is different in that children do not go on for permanency adoption, they remain in long term fostre care with ongoing access to family which is much better for childrens identity