Thoughts please

[Sqad]

I have been prompted to open this topic for general discussion by a thread started yesterday about a wife complaining that her husband had lost interest in her and the marriage. It was a very common topic and the answers totally predictable, although I have never read a thread concerning a husband complaining about a wife losing interest, although I stand to be corrected. Posters were divided mainly into 3 groups. a) Compassionate answers��..Relate, counseling. b) Humourists�..replies regarded as unhelpful c) Trolls�.@rses etc. Do we know which of the above 3 is the most effective in bringing the problem of the poster to a happy and satisfactory ending? I have never seen a poster give feedback�i.e " thank you for advice, our marriage is back on track" Again I stand corrected and hence cannot evaluate whether or not AB advice is 1) valuable 2)makes no difference 3) dangerous. The common advice is to seek counseling�e.g.Relate. established roughly 70 yrs ago because of the rise in divorce rate and since it's inception the rates have increased dramatically���.probably multifactorial. I have Googled and I cannot find any reputable scientific trials or statistics to show if Relate is�a) Very helpful b) slightly helpful c) no difference at all. If anybody has any links for me to peruse, I would be much obliged. It would be helpful if posters on Relationships and Dating would give us some feedback so that we could evaluate the 3 methods of advice.

[Rosetta]

Sqad, tried to access articles from BJ of psychiatry for your evidence based query but it won't let me play (probably have to pay?). Do yo still have associate membership to any of the medic journals that would enable you to answer your own question?

[Legalyblond2]

Squid as its confidential i doubt there will be figures for cases resolved .Then again can you say wheteher a resolved marraige will last a week a month ir a year ?These are all unknown variables.

To be honest i think many folk come on here and post their problems seeking suppourt for their ideas or opinions.Regardless of what others say they only seek backing for their point of view.

If answerbank could really solve any of these problems it would be a minor miracle.

In all honesty by the time people start complaining or asking for help a good deal , possibly even a majority of marraiges will be beyond help.
In these cases its all over bar the shouting.

[Sqad]

leg........EXACTLY

The other point is that we listen to the wives version of events, sympathise and give our opinion whilst the husband's version is not even considered or questioned.

Seems a bit one sided to me.........but there you go!

[Legalyblond2]

All that aside squad .If you want figures go to the relate site.
Not rocket science and the figures are there.


Feedback from those coming to Relate counselling shows that 66% come to save their relationship with their partner, or improve it. Only 9% attend to come to terms with the ending of a relationship.


I assume youre not gonna question the figures after me getting them ?


A year after completing counselling 58% of our clients felt that their relationship was better than it had been before they went to Relate; 82% were glad that they had gone to counselling and 80% were satisfied with the service that they had received.


http://www.relate.org.uk/aboutus/researchandst atistics/




Like i said if you want statistics on relate.Click on the link, go to the relate site , look in the section RESULTS AND STATISTICS



Its not rocket science and im no astronaut, but it took all of 30 seconds to google.


???DID THAT HELP ????

[Lore]

Sqad, I'm sure if the husband put up a post to seek advice then he would get a similar response. Maybe there are fewer men posting about such topics.

So shurrup! :p

Right, I'm off now. Have fun and be good!!! :p
byeeeeeeeee :)

[pastafreak]

I think.due to both socialogical and genetic differences, men and women will handle things differently. The female of the species is far more likely to seek help and to discuss.
It is not as if mens opinions are not welcome here..in fact it would be good to see more men post their worries or concerns.

[Legalyblond2]

Pasty ive answered the original question

he wanted figures

i gave him them

simple innit???

[Sqad]

leggy......NO TDH...


These were figures produced by the very same body that is making money out of the service. It is very unlikely that they would publish adverse results...eh!

We are not given any ideas as to how they obtained these results...post, telephone etc.

We have no statistics on those that didn't receive counselling...they may have done better.

This is not a properly conducted scientific trial and there are NO reference to check their contentions.

Those figures are scientifically valueless.

DTH?

Yes I did find your www. as above but unlike you, I found it without value.
DTH?

[pastafreak]

Yep leggy.......right as usual....;-))

but it HAS been an interesting debate.

[pastafreak]

I don't know much about research...tho I do know it can be quite a long,drawn-out process. It certainly would be if counseling organizations such as Relate were studied. Also..how do you quantify (not sure if that is the correct term) the sucess of something that deals not only in practical issues....but also emotional,and very subjective ones?????

[Sqad]

pasta.....elate has been on the go in some form for 40yrs....ffs. surely long enough to have properly conducted trials.

leggy's Google find is cr@p and he goes on about how he found it in 20secs....surprised it took so long.

Rocket Science????

A study can always be set up for emotional as well as other factors.