Parent's opinions needed please

[tigwig]

I am a childminder and one of the children in my care (has been for 6 weeks) is displaying behaviour that concerns me. He is 3 and I think he is showing some traits of various conditions which are ADHD, autism and dyspraxia. He also gets very frustrated and bites and pulls hair, very immature toddler behaviour to be expected from a 1-2yr old rather than a child of 3.
I have discussed this with other childminders and they say to do nothing, it will be picked up at school. I have mentioned I am concerned about aspects of his behaviour to his parents but not that I think he may have any other difficulties. As parents, would you want to know from a childminder or would you think it better if it was diagnosed at school? I am torn now because I wanted to discuss it with the parents but if I am wrong, don't want to upset them for nothing. On the other hand if its picked up at school then surely the parents will say why didn't I notice anything? To put it bluntly the parents aren't really on the ball themselves and I don't think they have a clue there's anything amiss. What do you think?

[DaisyMae]

The child may just be a bit spoilt, perhaps a little slow in development and possibly just naughty. Personally, since this isn't your field of expertise I would tend to let those who can diagnose such problems be the ones to do that. Just continue minding him and give him lots of attention and praise all his good points, that will bring out the best in him and may go a long way to making things better for him when he does go to school.

[rockyracoon]

Tough one really. I expect that the health visitor may well pick up on anything, toddlers have checks at various milestones don't they, I can't remember mine are older now and things change a lot. If he has what you suspect then you may well need help to mind him. Do you not have a sort of procederal (sp) for this type of thing from Ofsted.

[cazzz1975]

my sons have autism and I picked this up from 12 months old. what type of behaviour is making you err towards ADHD,autism and dyspraxia in particular?

[ummmm]

My sons nursery said they thought he autism and I should take him to the doctor. I did and the doctor agreed and referred him to a specialist. Luckily it's fairly mild and he's approved a lot since he was little.

If I was you, I'd mention it.

[gossipgirl]

if i was in your position i would mention his behaviour to his parents but i wouldnt mention that you think that it could be ADHD etc as they may find it offensive, and it may backfire on you, afterall they may see it as 'who are you yo tell them whats wrong with their son'?.
Do you know if hes an only child? it could be that he is struggling to come to terms that he has to share with other children etc, or could it even be that hes spoilt and gets everything he wants at home.

[ladyalex]

If I were you I'd say something to his parents.
You have to think about how you would feel if a serious diagnosis was missed when you had pertinent information.
I certainly wouldn't mention diagnoses, I'd just give them specific examples of his behaviour and say that you were concerned about him.
You have then waved the warning flag and it is up to them to take notice of you or not.
I think that, after tests, diagnoses etc, I would have wanted to have heard earlier from a childminder that something was wrong, but at the time of being told it, I might not have been all that receptive, especially if I hadn't noticed anything myself.
So watch out for sparks flying when you voice concerns about their 'perfect' baby.
Good Luck.

[shiv1990]

i think that it is important that you talk to the parents and suggest that they can take him to the doctor to see if he can diagnose him as soon as possible. Good Luck!

[zzxxee]

talk to the parents see if they have any concerns

[tigwig]

thank you for the answers. I have written a full page in a notepad about the kind of things he does which concern me. A few of them are: doesn't listen or respond to simple instructions, does not have 2 way conversations the majority of the time he usually repeats what you say or says things that don't make sense, he has funny little habits like being obsessed with touching the pedal bin and the catflap even when told not to. He does these things in order everytime he is in the kitchen then fiddles with the buttons on the washing machine and dishwasher! It's like he can't stop himself. He also hates anything different in the daily routine and had toddler like tantrums frequently making strange grunting/moaning noises too.
I think I will write up my concerns in a more professional manner and show it to his parents without mentioning the conditions just in case he hasn't got them at all.
Thanks for the input.

[Lil O'lady]

Defintely find someone to talk to - do you have a 'surestart' service that you are in touch with?
Early intervention makes an enormous difference to children with special needs.

[Ice.Maiden]

Like cazzz and ummmm, my youngest son is autistic, and although I knew from an early age that something wasn't quite as it should be, we had to wait until he was older for paediatric tests to be done. As with Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, dyspraxia and so forth, these conditrions can be very difficult to diagnose, and even professionals are still pretty much in the dark about them, as one can overlap into another.
From a personal point of view, I have to agree with DaisyMae though. Irrespective of whether a child's been spoilt or not, if this little boy is displaying certain symptoms, then he needs encouragement and attention. His school will deal with anything more, as most primary facilities now incorporate an SEN teacher, whose job it is to oversee the welfare of any child who appears not to be "fitting in" to the educational pattern or has behavioural difficulties.

[lilacben]

Please don;t let this little one go throught life and not e helped. My granddaughter has alwas. from a baby, shown signs things are not as they should be. will not sleep for long,no concentration, cannot sit still, cannot get interested in anything for any longer than a few minutes. I could go on. My daughter has asked and asked the doctors over the years to see if there was anything wrong, asked the school ect. Now at 12 she is,at last, seeing someone and getting help to see if there is a problem as she is getting worse. we are now waiting for another four appointments and then they will let my daughter know what they think she has wrong with her. It has taken all this time and one doctor said the other week if this had been picked up 6 years ago she wouldnt be as bad as she is today. Please tell the parents and get them to see a doctor to get him accessed/

[sherrardk]

Surely if they trust you to look after their child then they will value your opinion - I know I would.

[welshlibranr]

You should speak to them tactfully and voice your concerns, this little one will probably need some help, and the sooner the better, I think the parents will appreciate that you are trying to help them and their child...................Hope it goes well for you all..................welsh