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Not for the dirty minded

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marval | 22:46 Mon 17th Aug 2009 | Jokes
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It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. I was turning it on. It became firm in my hands, and the end was wet. Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip.

*Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.*


I knew it could be done. I wanted to try but I didn't know if I could do it. I called my friend. He said he knew how to do it and would teach me. He put his arms around me and started. I watched nervously in the mirror. He finally finished and pulled back slowly. I felt relieved that it was over.

*I hate neckties.*


It looked warm and dark, and juicy and inviting. I wasn't sure just what I wanted to do with it. I carefully pulled it apart with my fingers to look into it better. I knew how great it would be if I just started eating it.

*But I decided to put ketchup on my burger.*


I was scared at first. It was very wide, and very long, and it angled straight up. I decided I had to try it once. I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it. It felt weird at first. Then I got used to it. I went up and down, and up and down on it. I was really loving it.

*Now I ride on escalators all the time.


I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart. It was so pure and white. I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't stop. I licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began to scrape my teeth against it. There it was, in my mouth! All sweet and creamy. I was done.

*And I threw away the outsides of my Oreo cookies.



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Cor, I`m sweating. lol
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Here, have a cloth to wipe you down.
I hope sqad doesn't see this!!

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