At a crossroad

[Mcvj]

So, you'll remember my post recently about relationships and pornography? And that me and my partner spoke about everything that was wrong with our relationship? turns out he didn't listen to me at all and has been on that site since we spoke about it. I know now that this isn't something that's going to stop.

The way I see it, I have two options;

I either accept that he is going to go on to these websites because he wants to to talk to people about these things, possibly go on to web cams to look at women.

Or, I break up with him, try and get a house on my own - lose our friends and basically turn my life upside down. Which is a horrible thought, because apart from this we actually do have a good life together

I don't want the second option, but unless I change my mind about these sites or he stops (which he clearly doesn't want to), i don't know what to do.

any advice greatly welcomed.

[Nannyjill]

Haven't seen your previous posts as I don't come on the site very often.

Do you know why he looks at the sites? Have you seen them do you know how pornagraphic they are? I'm not sure I understand the piece about him talking to people about these things,does he not talk to you. Lots of men look at magazines, is this a step further on?

As you're unhappy with him doing this, is it because you feel threatened or because you think it will tempt him to stray or because it is disgusting.

You seem to have accepted that you will stay with him do this as you say you will have to get a house of your own, lose your friends and turn your life upside down.

Perhaps you should widen your circle of friends and find a new hobby so you have less time to dwell on it. Do you think all his friends look at porn too?

[Mcvj]

Hi NannyJill,

Thanks for responding. He's basically never opened up to me about anything of a sexual nature, ie, his fantasies. I'm very open about everything but when he was younger he told someone about masturbating and they told everyone in school - he's now got a major hangup about it. It's like he's catholic or something (he's not).

I don't like those websites because I feel that they are a threat, and also, I think that they are just quite sad in general. With everything that happens on the internet (that woman from the nursery and her network of peados for example) I just find it a bit sick.

I love him and I feel that these issues are in part to do with him not being open about things so I'm going to try my best to talk to him calmly so it doesnt feel like i'm having a go.