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A Geordie father's letter to his daughter....(a canny Sunday Morning chuckle)
5 Answers
Dear Daughter,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read real fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your mother read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we decided to move 30 miles down the road. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Geordie family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it, though. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen 'em since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off -- you' ll find 'em in the pockets. Uncle Dave locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your mother out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Uncle Bobby fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Tappa was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back and drowned -- they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Am I being racist here...pmsl (to myself)
enjoy Bobbi x
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read real fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your mother read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we decided to move 30 miles down the road. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Geordie family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it, though. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen 'em since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off -- you' ll find 'em in the pockets. Uncle Dave locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your mother out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Uncle Bobby fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Tappa was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back and drowned -- they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Am I being racist here...pmsl (to myself)
enjoy Bobbi x
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