News0 min ago
Why else would I be here?
33 Answers
I\'m having man trouble as always.... So, as old habits die hard, I have returned to AB for some much needed, but probably much ignored advice!
There is a guy I like and we have been friends for a couple of years. We used to be close, he used to be married blah blah. He has known for a while that I liked him, we fell out for a bit but the other week we went for a drink after work and talked everything through and realised we were still good friends at heart and decided to be that way again. I had written off the fact that anything would ever happen between us and was glad to have him as a friend. Then after lots of alcohol he came back to mine to watch a movie and ended up staying, the movie finished and he started kissing me. It got a bit heated but nothing other than kissing happened. We fell asleep and when we woke up he started kissing me again... Then he left as he had stuff to do, we text a bit for the rest of the weekend, he called me on Sunday then I saw him at work again on Monday. Wasn\'t awkward at all.. Actually felt comfortable.
So as you can guess I became excited at the idea that something could develop and began dropping hints that I\'d like it to happen again... Cutting along story short him and I had a big chat about it and he said he\'s not saying nothing will ever happen but he is not ready just yet. He hasn\'t been single in over 10years and his marriage ended a year ago and he has a son and he just wants time to be a Dad and sort himself out. He said he isn\'t saying we won\'t happen but right now it can\'t.
Is this just a fob off? I said to him I\'m rather he was honest and if he never saw us happening then he just said that instead of saying maybe to make me feel better. He said he isn\'t saying it won\'t but based on how he feels now, he has to say \'never\' because he isn\'t ready for anything, but in 6 months who knows where he will be!
Help!
X
There is a guy I like and we have been friends for a couple of years. We used to be close, he used to be married blah blah. He has known for a while that I liked him, we fell out for a bit but the other week we went for a drink after work and talked everything through and realised we were still good friends at heart and decided to be that way again. I had written off the fact that anything would ever happen between us and was glad to have him as a friend. Then after lots of alcohol he came back to mine to watch a movie and ended up staying, the movie finished and he started kissing me. It got a bit heated but nothing other than kissing happened. We fell asleep and when we woke up he started kissing me again... Then he left as he had stuff to do, we text a bit for the rest of the weekend, he called me on Sunday then I saw him at work again on Monday. Wasn\'t awkward at all.. Actually felt comfortable.
So as you can guess I became excited at the idea that something could develop and began dropping hints that I\'d like it to happen again... Cutting along story short him and I had a big chat about it and he said he\'s not saying nothing will ever happen but he is not ready just yet. He hasn\'t been single in over 10years and his marriage ended a year ago and he has a son and he just wants time to be a Dad and sort himself out. He said he isn\'t saying we won\'t happen but right now it can\'t.
Is this just a fob off? I said to him I\'m rather he was honest and if he never saw us happening then he just said that instead of saying maybe to make me feel better. He said he isn\'t saying it won\'t but based on how he feels now, he has to say \'never\' because he isn\'t ready for anything, but in 6 months who knows where he will be!
Help!
X
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by Rubyrose. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
-- answer removed --
Thanks docspock.. I felt it and yes he does ;-) Lol...
Anyway.. Yes ummmm I will try and keep my options open. I met about 3-4 guys last night in town and handed my number out etc and I have just updated my facebook with pics of me having a great night and some pics of the guys we met so he will see I'm having a good time without him. (The things we do eh?)..
Anyway.. Yes ummmm I will try and keep my options open. I met about 3-4 guys last night in town and handed my number out etc and I have just updated my facebook with pics of me having a great night and some pics of the guys we met so he will see I'm having a good time without him. (The things we do eh?)..
hiya ruby, I remember you posting about this guy before, it could be that by kissing you he was trying to work out his feelings for you for himself, maybe he doesnt feel sure of himself and you, If he was interested he would have made it plain a while ago when he split.
I dont think this is a runner personally. After 10 years in a relationship I think he will want to try out a lot of different people, he wont be looking for commitment after just coming out of a committed relationship. There are a load of single guys that could offer you much more.
I dont think this is a runner personally. After 10 years in a relationship I think he will want to try out a lot of different people, he wont be looking for commitment after just coming out of a committed relationship. There are a load of single guys that could offer you much more.
Hi Cazzz, I think I have posted about him before. I only come back to post when I'm having a man crisis. Lol.
Thing is, I haven't stopped going out and meeting people and I'm not ruling out the fact that someone else could turn my head but after two years of REALLY liking him I can't turn that off just because he may not be right for me.
His marriage ended because he had an affair with someone at work who I am friends with (She no longer works with us) and when the marriage ended they tried to make a go of it.. They were together for almost a year and she broke up with him just before Xmas 08. He said he hung onto the hope that they would get back together for quite a while but now she has moved on and is living with someone else and pregnant so he has moved on. He said he tried dating a few months back and realised it was too soon and that he needed time on his own before he entered into anything. He said he wants to focus on seeing his son and just taking some time out from relationships even though he doesn't actually want to be on his own. Last Xmas before he got back with the woman from work, him and I had a sort of falling out and while we continued to work together and get on ok, there was always a strange atmosphere.. Now and then if we'd been out and had a drink we'd connect again and get on really well and we ALWAYS flirt... So it's only the last week we've talked it through and become friends again.. Although that didn't last long because of the kissing but we're still friends and I hope we will stay friends no matter what happens. I'd hate to lose him as a friend for the second time! X
Thing is, I haven't stopped going out and meeting people and I'm not ruling out the fact that someone else could turn my head but after two years of REALLY liking him I can't turn that off just because he may not be right for me.
His marriage ended because he had an affair with someone at work who I am friends with (She no longer works with us) and when the marriage ended they tried to make a go of it.. They were together for almost a year and she broke up with him just before Xmas 08. He said he hung onto the hope that they would get back together for quite a while but now she has moved on and is living with someone else and pregnant so he has moved on. He said he tried dating a few months back and realised it was too soon and that he needed time on his own before he entered into anything. He said he wants to focus on seeing his son and just taking some time out from relationships even though he doesn't actually want to be on his own. Last Xmas before he got back with the woman from work, him and I had a sort of falling out and while we continued to work together and get on ok, there was always a strange atmosphere.. Now and then if we'd been out and had a drink we'd connect again and get on really well and we ALWAYS flirt... So it's only the last week we've talked it through and become friends again.. Although that didn't last long because of the kissing but we're still friends and I hope we will stay friends no matter what happens. I'd hate to lose him as a friend for the second time! X
I know the reasons he did it (or what he has told me at least) and I know each situation is different. Everyone has the potential to cheat... it just depends if you are in the relationship that would make you want to or not. I'm fairly trusting but again... I'd cross that bridge when I come to it. X
yes I can understand that you cannot turn off your feelings especially after a couple of years, on the whole though he still caused pain by having an affair and leaves a child in a broken home. He doesnt sound like he knows what he wants and although the kiss has fired up all the old feelings bear in mind that he has caused pain as well.
personally he would just be a friend and nothing more, even if I felt strongly for him I couldnt ignore what has happened and I feel I would only be setting myself up for heartbreak if I tried to pursue something more. If he did have a fling with you it may damage a long term friendship.
personally he would just be a friend and nothing more, even if I felt strongly for him I couldnt ignore what has happened and I feel I would only be setting myself up for heartbreak if I tried to pursue something more. If he did have a fling with you it may damage a long term friendship.
