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Sorry people, I am back now having had a good cry down the phone to my big sister!
To start with I was asking for sqad just to ask some medical questions as my OH is all abit confused and bewildered by it all, but then I started typing and it all got to me and set me off.
As for the main thing, well today it has been work which has been hell but I cant really go into that, other then we were in the news yesterday and today I lost alot of good colleagues and its not looking good.
With my OH's aunt, she has only been ill for 2 weeks, 2 days ago we get told she has cancer, and now she has upto a month left and it just hasnt really sunk in. It is cancer of the stomach, and has gone from stomach cramps to this so quickly
My OH doesnt show much emotion, and tonight I went to him in tears and said that I dont really know what to do because he doesnt show me much, and he said that he just doesnt want to think to much into things as he will break down and end up a mess.
:-(
To start with I was asking for sqad just to ask some medical questions as my OH is all abit confused and bewildered by it all, but then I started typing and it all got to me and set me off.
As for the main thing, well today it has been work which has been hell but I cant really go into that, other then we were in the news yesterday and today I lost alot of good colleagues and its not looking good.
With my OH's aunt, she has only been ill for 2 weeks, 2 days ago we get told she has cancer, and now she has upto a month left and it just hasnt really sunk in. It is cancer of the stomach, and has gone from stomach cramps to this so quickly
My OH doesnt show much emotion, and tonight I went to him in tears and said that I dont really know what to do because he doesnt show me much, and he said that he just doesnt want to think to much into things as he will break down and end up a mess.
:-(
gosh wiggal - Im sorry for all thats happening to you. Emotions will be very raw at the moment and its probably not a time to get into emotional responses within your relationship as things might be said that you dont mean - early morning you may get some medical answers over in B & S - do you feel any better after talking to your sister
Hi pericat,
In a way I feel better after talking to my sister because I always do, but at the same time feel bad because she lives 150 miles away and she said on the phone she just wants to be able to sit and give me a big cuddle.
My OH will be trying so hard not to show anything as at the minute he is having a real battle to get work. He is a contractor and has been out of work for a while now, and if he doesnt find a job in the next few weeks, we could be very likely to lose our house and 1 of our cars as my wages dont cover much.
It just all seems to have happened at once, and I know I need to be the strong one for him, but how can I? I just feel like crying so much still, all about work & his auntie.
But at the same time I think how can I be upset about work, with what is going on with his auntie? Its like I have no right?
In a way I feel better after talking to my sister because I always do, but at the same time feel bad because she lives 150 miles away and she said on the phone she just wants to be able to sit and give me a big cuddle.
My OH will be trying so hard not to show anything as at the minute he is having a real battle to get work. He is a contractor and has been out of work for a while now, and if he doesnt find a job in the next few weeks, we could be very likely to lose our house and 1 of our cars as my wages dont cover much.
It just all seems to have happened at once, and I know I need to be the strong one for him, but how can I? I just feel like crying so much still, all about work & his auntie.
But at the same time I think how can I be upset about work, with what is going on with his auntie? Its like I have no right?
If it upsets you - you have a right to your feelings - its a real worry to be in that situation - hopefully something will come up and if it doesnt hopefully you will sort yourselves out in the best way for you - 12 years ago we were in a dreadful situation - my husband was in partnership in a company that went bust and we were left with the debts but we clawed our way back and things are so much better today. Things do happen for a reason - I know this sounds like crap but it is true and if you can grasp on to that or whatever positive thoughts get you through - do that. Try to think positively about things ( i know thats really difficult) - Just be there for each other as much as you can - and come on here for a moan any time - people are great and will listen
Thank you pericat :-)
I was doing the stay positive thing about work today, and it worked ok, but tonight went straight out the window!
Thank you for answering my posts and your advise, but for now as it is late and I am completely done in, I am heading off to bed to cuddle up and spend some much needed time with my fella.
Still seems weird that he is holding out so much better then I am! But I guess we all deal with things in our own ways!!
Thank you again peri, and will hopefully catch up sometime soon when I am feeling slightly better then I am now!
xxxx
I was doing the stay positive thing about work today, and it worked ok, but tonight went straight out the window!
Thank you for answering my posts and your advise, but for now as it is late and I am completely done in, I am heading off to bed to cuddle up and spend some much needed time with my fella.
Still seems weird that he is holding out so much better then I am! But I guess we all deal with things in our own ways!!
Thank you again peri, and will hopefully catch up sometime soon when I am feeling slightly better then I am now!
xxxx
it's very hard to try to cope with so many things at once. You're not super woman and whilst you're deeply upset and concerned about your boyfriend's aunt you can't supress your feelings about work.
It's very unfortunate that these things have happened all together but as Peri says things happen for a reason and you'll come out the other side having learnt from this experience. It must be doubly difficult if your boyfriend can't talk much about it.
I'd just let him know you're there for him if and when he wants to talk and reach out for any help you're offered. Don;t be afraid to ask for help either and grab whatever you need to get you through this.
It's very unfortunate that these things have happened all together but as Peri says things happen for a reason and you'll come out the other side having learnt from this experience. It must be doubly difficult if your boyfriend can't talk much about it.
I'd just let him know you're there for him if and when he wants to talk and reach out for any help you're offered. Don;t be afraid to ask for help either and grab whatever you need to get you through this.
wiggal.....all the posters are quite correct, sympathy and bedside manners aren't my strongest suits, but have a go of you think that I could help.
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