A Polish plumber moved to England and married an English girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
"Have you any grounds?" "Yes, an acre and half and nice little home."
"No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It made of concrete."
"I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?" "No, we have carport, and not need one."
"I mean. What are your relations like?" "All my relations still in Poland."
"Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."
"Does your wife beat you up?" "No, I always up before her."
"Is your wife a nagger?" "No, she white."
"Why do you want this divorce?" "She going to kill me."
"What makes you think that?" "I got proof."
"What kind of proof?" "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at surket and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover'"