daughter leaving home

[cherryelm]

I have had a really bad day my 22 year old daughter announced earlier this week that she was moving in with her boyfriend. I was really calm and told her how pleased i was that she was happy and she invited me to see her new home. I went today and im so upset. its little more than a bed sit in a small block of flats there is a bedroom/lounge a kitchen and a bathroom and its a bit tatty. im readimg this and i sound so stupid but i wanted so much more for her and now i soumd like a snob. i think im just worried about her how do you get over the empty nest syndromm?

[yinyang]

I don't think you sound like a snob The first place I lived with my then boyfriend - now husband - was a really horrible one bedroom council flat in a bad area; it was all we could afford at the time but i know my mum hated me being there. However we worked our little socks off and a cou[le of years later got a nice little house in the area I grew up in; a few more years and 2 children later we're in a nice semi and fully respectable proper grown ups ( most of the time )..

It's natural for a mum to worry but if she's happy with her partner they'll make that bedsit into a happy little place and take loads of good memories with them when they move on.

As for the empty nest - my mum said she missed me for about a week then it started to sink in there was no loud music or late night coming and goings and she started to love the peace and quiet. You'll still see plenty of your daughter I'm sure; especially when she's hungry and skint or has washing to be done!

[cherryelm]

Thank you yinyang in my heart i know youre right and our first house was no great shakes but she is an only child my husband works away and as well as being worried for her i know im feeling sorry for my self. just having a selfish wallow!!

[yinyang]

You're not being selfish at all. You're letting your daughter make her own decisions and supporting her, even if you havbe doubts about where she is staying. That's the best thing a mum can do. Just keep being there for her and she'll still be a big part of your life.

My husband is working away this week too and even though I've still got the girls upstairs; they're in bed by this time of night and I do find myself feeling a bit bit lonely so I totally understand what you mean. I'm going to have a long hot bath and a soppy film tonight. I recommend you do the same with the addition of large amounts of wine as you have no one else to worry about. Running about naked is also an option, of course - just make sure the blinds are closed so you don't scare the neighbours :D.

[cherryelm]

Thank you yinyang the wine is already open but its a bit cold for the naked bit!!!

[andy-hughes]

I do know how you feel - our youngest daughter has moved in to a house with her boyfriend today. She is expecting a baby and they are very happy, and the house is lovely, rented, but totally refurbished and equiped and they have bought new furniture etc., so no worries on that score but ...

my wife is away with work, and I'm here on my own thinking that usually on a Sunday night she would visit friends, and come back about ten o'clock, and we would watch TV together and have a chat, and tmorrow I would take her to work.

Of course, neither of those things are going to happen - which is perfectly fine, but I do know how you feel.

I also know that we will get used to it, and know it's the right thing for them to do. Night time is always worst. First time my youngest went to Browni camp, I told her that at night when she felt homesick and sad, she should tell herself that she is tired, and tomorrow she will wake up and be glad she is there, and everyghing will be fine. I told her the same thing today as I was kissing her goodbye - now I just need to tell myself.