What to do ?

[Redrum]

Hi All,
I began a friendship with a female colleage at work who just joined, however she/they are having a lot of money difficulties and her partner (they are gay) is claiming benefits for all sorts for mental health problems. They are always smoking cannabis when I have gone round to see them of an evening, and on one occasion snorted cocaine...they live in rented accommodation, and now have the bailiffs tailing them for various non payments of council tax etc, while they have gladly had anything I have given/offered them (food, free lifts to and from work, etc etc) I stupidly offered to help them pay off the bailiffs, to which they were ecstatic...now due to my own unexpected money problem I am now not in a position to help them of which I have let this work colleague know, so now both her and her 'wife' are making my life a misery both in and out of work, I have suffered abusive texts, emails and messages left on my answer phone and all when I confronted my colleague about this she just said her partner cannot help this as she is mentally unstable, in fact her partner gets away with everything (being violent and abusive to others) and she even drives under the influence of cannabis which she has told me whilst driving me somewhere! ! What can I do about this harrassment, as her partner comes in everyday to pick work colleague up to take her home and Im faced with the comments and sneers ..I wish I had never tried to help a friend in need....its all a mess and Im becoming worried as her partner is capable of anything and Ive received texts from her saying 'Ill kill you'.....

[sara3]

threats to kill must be reported to the police, and shop your colleague to the benefits people. what a horrible pair they are.

[daffy654]

Tell your work colleague that you will give her 7 days to convince her partner to stop sending the texts or you will show them to the police.

[Redrum]

I have blocked their numbers on my mobile, so no more texts, and no more calls, however, I work with one of them and her partner comes in to the workplace to pick her up every evening .... I have had enough of being treated in this way when all I did was offer to help them, funny how people on benefits can afford to buy alcohol, fags, drugs ...but cant pay their rent....what is that all about.... if I shop them they will know its me, they have told me they will find out....

[Redrum]

I have given this work colleague lifts most mornings and she has paid me something, once, but not offered any more money, just kept saying when she has the cash she will pay me (needless to say the lifts have stopped as she scrounges off someone else now), she takes time off sick (the company dont pay sick pay) and then moans all the time that she is light in her wages..blah blah blah...I have witness them buying 'green' off a dealer..they have used used my mobile to call this 'dealer' when they had no credit on their mobiles...the list is endless...

[Redrum]

What does it matter if Im male or female ?

[~Wingnut~]

Hi Redrum! Sounds awful! :o(

Do you have anyone at work you can tell about this? your line manager etc? They may be able to stop her from coming into your place of work to pick up her partner and may even be able to have a word with your collegue about their partners harrassment towards you. Worth a shot.

Do you still have the text messages etc? You should go to the police anyway I think as you feel so threatened and quite frankly they sound like nasty pieces of work and shouldn't be allowed to get away with it!! They took advantage of your good nature and certainly showed their true colours when you became unable to help. They are grown up and not your problem!!

Whilst this is going on, please be extra vigilant when you arrive and leave work. Try to always make sure your with someone or in a group when out. By the sounds of it they are going to blame you for any suspicion they fall under from now on so you may as well do it!

I hope they leave you alone!!

[sara3]

the benefits people won't say who reported them, and you can even do it anonymously. they might assume it was you, but they won't know.

[Redrum]

There is no point in grassing them up to the benefits agency, one works the other claims, so they tell me they are withing their rights to claim what they do...they are just looking for the next cash cow...

[Redrum]

And yes I have kept all the texts and answer machine messages, I did disucss this with a fellow colleague and she told me to report my concerns to the MD...but Im at a loss what to do for the best...the whole situation scares me..Im worried i will arrive home to a brick through my window or my car keyed....before too long.

[sara3]

for benefits purposes, if they live together they are deemed a couple regardless of which sex they are. one person's wages may affect the other's benefits. it's all about equality!

[~Wingnut~]

I can understand your scared (I blooming well would be too!) only you know how serious they are with these threats, but burying your head in the sand isn't going to make them go away as it sounds like she isn't going to let this drop so you need to put a stop to this now. They would be stupid to follow out any threats once reported to the police. You don't need to tell the police anything about the drugs etc. just the threats, which in itself is a bad enough crime.

You may get some better advice if you post this in law and get an idea of what the police will do etc.. it may help you make up your mind.

[Androcles]

Reading all you have said, there is no way for you to get out of this without some unpleasantness - it obviously will not go away. I think you are just going to grasp the nettle and talk to your boss. You reacted badly to the question about which sex you are but it may be relevant if you are a male, as you could get allegations of sexual harrassment against you, which characters like this could easily make up if they wanted to make things difficult for you at work.

You may also need to speak to the police if they make any more threats against you. Whilst you don't they will think they have you just where tey want you - too frightened to do anything. Wingnut is right on this

I have seen cases like this before - if you don't stand up, it will only get worse.