Trust

[Buzzie]

Need some thoughts about this guys because I think I'm going mad but I may be over reacting.

I have been seeing a lady for about 8 months, we both have kids from previous relationships and, while thankfully I get on well with my ex & we help each other out when we can we live totally separate lives & only really see each other when the kids are picked up.

My girlfriend however has 2 kids who are 6 & 3 & has what I would describe as an unhealthy relationship with her ex. He has the children 2 nights a week & visits them on all other days, doesn't take them out but just sits around her house. If she is not back from mine when he's due to drop them off he just lets herself in at her house & sits with the kids till she arrives.

I don't have a problem with people getting along with their ex because its healthy for the children but to have this guy hanging round her all the time is doing my head in. She just says "oh its nice for the kids" & freely admits she likes him & enjoys his company. They split because she says he was a control freak who left her on the verge of bankruptcy, yet seems to welcome into her house, not quite but almost with open arms.

I have just found out that she has had him & his mother round for dinner this evening after which he gave her a reflexology foot massage. She told me this like it was the most natural thing in the world to have an ex do.

Am I going mad or should alarm bells be ringing?

[sara3]

I thought it was going quite well until I got to the foot massage bit... no, not with your ex.

[paul0]

Least shes tellin you about the feet although it is a bit odd tell her this makes you uncomfortable but tell her you glad she told you you cant help her havin a past she might be just keepin him sweet as the alternative is too much as long she keeps being honest and open dont think you have much to worry about as hes her ex for a reason.

[Buzzie]

Thanks all, good replies

[lil123]

I had a problem like this when I first left my ex.
He was supposed to come and take our son out but ended up sitting in my house and then it got worse and worse. I went along with it purely as I was so scared of him. Then something happened where I was able to get another injunction on him and I stuck to it also, not letting him near my house etc.
It took me a long time but now I have full control of my life and I don't have any contact only in court as he is taking me for contact with our son.
It is very hard when they are so controlling, so I quess your partner is just doing it to try and keep the peace. I think you need to talk to her.

[TTG]

It was ok until this bit "she likes him & enjoys his company".

Say to her "it's me or him".

[Sqad]

"I have been seeing a lady"......" a LADY?"

TTG is spot on......I would go further........DUMP HER.