Editor's Blog11 mins ago
Adultery
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Why do people do it? What makes people cheat on their marriage partners and have affairs?
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I think adultery is like a car crash, you can never predict who will get hurt and you don't know how many people it will affect. Adultery is one of those things that has a multitude of reasons behind it, unhappiness, temptation, the thrill etc. I don't why people do it, some of us resist, some of us don't, I can't say it's weakness of character because weakness can equally prevent people from committing adultery, perhaps at the end of the day it's because they can.
I think i know why some people do it. It's the thrill of getting away with it, almost getting caught but not quite. An ex-friend of mine is a serial adulterer, the last time i saw him was about two years ago and he was living a triple life. He was married (with two children), yet he had two girlfriends - neither of which knew about the other - or about his wife for that matter. His wife was blissfully ignorant of the whole thing, and thought life was lovely. The problem that i had with this was that by showing off and bragging about his triple life, he involved me in it. I was now expected to lie for him, something i was not prepared to do. That is why he is now an ex-friend, and i haven't seen him for two years. People who feel the need to cheat on their partner are addicted to the buzz, and should seek help just like anyone would for narcotic addiction.
Well, it sure takes two to tango. But ultimately an undeniable and unstoppable attraction in my experience. Whether or not you are the married one. It became truly unbearable for me. I fell totally in love and lust with her (she being the married one). The fact that she was married just prolonged the time before we actually had sex. She's still married. I still love her.
People do it for any number of reasons but love is a strange thing and I find it amazing that people who walked down the aisle madly in love can see their relationship deterioate so badly that it ends up the complete opposite of love and they hate each other with a vengence .People should realise that their partners and themselves will change over the years and they have to adapt to those changes . I'm lucky as my wife has got better and I feel closer to her now than I did when I married her but it still does'nt stop me from being tempted by the opposite sex the urge to reproduce is the strongest emotion and is hard to resist .
I was unfaithful to an ex of mine because he got drunk and was abusive to me for one time too many. In general I think that a lot of people become so comfortable in their relationships that they stop trying so hard and take each other for granted. They let work,kids or the monotony of everyday life take the "magic" away. When someone new makes it obvious that they find them attractive, they are bowled over and find it hard to resist. It's the novelty factor and a sign that they aren't "old and past it"