There was an old man of Devizes
Who was brought up before the assizes
For teaching young boys
Matrimonial joys
And giving out condoms as prizes
There was a young man of Devizes
Whose balls were of two different sizes
The one was so small
It weighed nothing at all
But the other had won several prizes
There was a young lady from Gloucester
Whose parents thought they had lost her
All they found in the grass
Were the marks of her ass
And the knees of the bloke who had crossed her
There was a young lady from Durbah
Who swore that no man would curb her
But a man from Khartoum
Knocked the top off her womb
With an eighteen inch kidney disturber