advice on assault charges

[kelsbels]

My partner hit me a couple of weeks before xmas i hit him back and he struck me again he was in drink and is not very good at controlling himself when in drink (my 10 month old daughter was present). I made a statement and he was arrested and charge with section 39. he pleaded not guilty and they bailed him not to contact me or come near our house. He reappered the following week to make his plea which he was advised by the solicitor to plead not guilty and i went with him to have bail conditions removed so he could spend xmas with me and our daughter. he now has a trial date set for feb this year. He has not touched a drop of alcohol since and has contacted a counsellor for help with his drinking and behaviour (i must add this was the 1st time he had evr lifted a hand to me) i gave another statement in which i told them i didnt wish to proceed with the case as i felt he was facing up to his beahavior and we are now back together this was my own decision they did advise he could still be prosecuted his solicitior has received no info about my new statement and has advised him that he could be sent to jail does anyone know if this is likely or waht the likely outcome could be i knwo they take dom violence very serious

[another-view]

Ah! How many times do we see this here?
"Yes he beat me but I still love him".

You know deep down what you should do.

[jno]

they do, and I suspect it will go to court. But if you tell the court what you've just said here - that it was a first offence, that he's seeking help and facing up to his own behaviour - they might be lenient.

If there's a second time, though, don't stick around.

[k8bailey]

don't know about the criminal side of it, but you can also expect a visit from social services.

[northernmonkey]

You may not believe people when they tell you now, that your making a mistake giving him another chance and that he will do it again, because regardless of what he say's to you, I am quite sure you will be pressing charges again against him for the same offence, Domestic violence is something which I personally believe, is like a addiction....once the violence begins, it becomes a long misreable road to the end, as I am sure many women who have been in your situation would quite happily tell you. I just hope for your sake and your child's sake, it will never happen again to you!

[fredpuli47]

The best course for everybody is that this comes to court. He is acknowledging a drink problem.You have been assaulted when he was in drink. He is 'not very good at controlling himself' then. .Quite. By all means speak up for him, in mitigation, but don't start saying you weren't assaulted. when you know you were.You may love him, but there's such a thing as 'tough love' which is going to be best in the long run. You're not helping him by giving in and (really) lying to get him off. What lesson does he gain from that? That he's got control, of you. He hasn't yet got control of his drinking, but he'll rapidly lose interest in solving that once he's won, as he will have, and then what prospects are there for you then?

[Jde2]

ref K8Bailey comment; writer you will not get a "visit" from social serivices, you may get communication from them via letter, but please, you probably have enough on your plate without the fear of god being put in you! i can speak from experience, i had my ex partner jailed for DV throughout my problems my young daughter was present in the house (not in the room where assaults took place) i once had letter from Soc services, but they just wanted to help and to ensure i could cope, they actually were very helpful and a source of information to me. Good luck with your situation, it is very unlikely he will get a custodial sentance, I actually testified against my ex in court, and it was his third brush with the law on DV so he went down (for 2 months!?) if I hadn't been present in court he would have walked. Think long and hard, I don;t believe that a man who raises a hand to a woman won't do it again and again, unfortunately I used to think he could "change" . Good luck, keep safe.

[k8bailey]

Actually my answer comes from personal experience too (unfortunately), it was not meant to scare kelsbels

My very stressed out partner got pretty drunk last christmas and we argued, he smashed a few things around the house and pushed me out of his way, our daughter who was 6months old at the time was present - I called a friend to take my partner away for the night to allow him to sober up and calm down. The friend who had the best of intentions called 101. Police turned up, arrested my partner for common assault, I asked for the charges to be dropped and as this was his first offence they were. Several weeks later Social Services turned up, unnanounced, they had been contacted by the police. They were very nice interviewed me and then returned later in the day to talk to my partner. Our Health visitor was also contacted to see if she had any concerns, which she didn't so Social services closed the case.

Some people can change - Good luck kelsbels