URGENT - ANY ADVICE?

[kat2206]

Hi... My partners ex wife is going on holiday tomorrow and leaving their 16year old daughter home alone for the whole week. She hasn't offered my partner to have his daughter for the week and they have organised this very "cloak and dagger"... They live about 2 hours away from us too.

He feels pretty much tied in what to do but I am absolutely up in arms about it.

Is there anything we can do?

[kat2206]

Hi, unfortunately she won't come over, she is revising for her GCSE's and wants to stay at home. We have offered though!

[China Doll]

Well if she won't come and you're not the mother then I don't see what you can do. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Perhaps organise dinner or coffee one day.

[mollykins]

There's nothing illegal i don't think, unless she has a disability or something which means she can't look after herself, but as long as she's got means of getting to school, having food etc,and she's a sensible person, she should be fine.

[ummmm]

She's old enough to get married and have sex. She's old enough to look after herself.

[ummmm]

I also think in this day and age....mobile phones, internet etc...she'll be ok

[kat2206]

Thank you for your comments, I do appreciate them all... I suppose I'm one of the few parents out there who actually does still have my childrens best interests at heart, while my children live me (17 and 16 yr old sons) they are my responsibility and always come first, its a pity that most parents dont think that way anymore, then perhaps there would be less violence and pregnancies in the country??

[tillyh345]

Yes Im with you....I also have two sons, one lives with us, hes 21, and my eldest lives on his own but I have daily contact with him. But I do have relatives who really dont seem to take any responsibility for their children who I add are a lot younger than mine. I think some parents today put their own wants and needs before their childrens. And it amazes me how many people I speak to seem to think this is OK.

[S_C]

At 16 and with a streight head " elaborated by way of studying and comitment for this " this girl would seem to both old enough and wise enough to be left alone for a period of a week or two.

the time given will give her a view and insight into responsability and " fending for yourself " along with this it will give her the feeling of both respect and trust given by her mother.

regarding the issue wayward children in our lives these days , i feel your comment of " most parents not being the same way as yourself" is a bit over the top.
there is a lot involved in this issue, however i feel it is as usual the few that ruin it for the many, as on the whole MOST children are loved and shown what family means and respect for those around you as well as right and wrong.

[kat2206]

I understand your point of view s_c however, if you look at the statistics, there are far too many teenagers/children out there causing physical and emotional harm, unwanted pregnancies... If parents, such as myself took more time thinking about their children that THEY have brought into this world, regardless of age, then perhaps we wouldnt be in this country of violence etc that you see in the news every day...

yes, I do consider myself a very good mother, my sons still have an excellent social life and I have let go of the "apron strings" however they are still my children, my responsibility. There are far too many parents out there willing to "pass the book" when their children/teenagers are unruly, unlawful louts.

If every parent brought their children up with morals, integrity and respect for others I think we wouldnt be in this awful situation that the country is currently in.

However, saying that there are an awful lot of parents who DO care and bring their children up and turn into very nice responsible adults.

Going back to my initial question/comment though, I personally do not think it responsible as a parent to go away on holiday, abroad, to leave your child at home especially during this incredibly difficult time for her daughter during her GCSE's, she needs to be there with her child to encourage and support, not to go away to get a tan!