Why am I unable to end this relationship?

[lainiej]

I am 51yrs old and have been married for 6yrs.ts my 3rd and his 2nd marriage. Our sex life is non-existent, we never do or go anywhere together, regularly argue over menial household tasks and my 18 yr old daughter's behaviour which he seems to constantly find fault with. I long to be able to say 'I'm sorry but I want out of this relationship' but am finding it impossible to do so. I dont know why. I'm not worried about being alone - in fact I enjoy my own company and have a loving family and lots of good friends.
Advice please!
Many thanks
Elaine

[Ankou]

you say you don't know why bit have listed several issues.
have you talked about any of these with your partner - without arguing?

would you consider going to relate?

[S_C]

noone can answer this but you .

there could be many reasons given , however only you would know the true answer.

suggestions

you may think you dont want to fail ,

you dont want to hurt him ,

enjoying your own company and actualy being alone are two different things , so you could fear loneliness itself " not being alone but feeling alone ".

financial concerns

you may actualy love him and are just going through a bad patch.

seeing his faults , but realise you have them to so are unwilling yet to act.

just a few suggestions but to be honest as stated only you know why , you want to stay with this man " or not want to split with this man ".

[Whoever]

If this is your third marriage and your OH's second, both of you do seem to be having problems with matching your expectations of marriage to the realities. Why did you marry him in the first place? Has he changed since then? Have you changed since then or has the initial magic just worn off and you can't be prepared to work at finding solutions any longer?

Perhaps you both need to sit down and spend a little more time talking sensibly about what your aspirations and expectations are for this relationship, rather than arguing about them. Ask your husband if he feels the same way?

Perhaps it's the fear of having to admit to failure and bad judgement for a third time which is preventing you from ending yet another marriage. If you're unhappy about not having a sex life, why don't you initiate it? If you're unhappy about never going anywhere, why not take the initiative and plan a few outings or week-ends away together and just present them as a fait-accompli? Sounds like you've both given up on making any effort. Time for some serious discussions I think.

[Old_Geezer]

Few like the upheaval of change. It takes determination to start such a thing.
That said, do talk it over, maybe you can repair the problems to the extent that tolerating the remaining differences holds more benefit than losing a partner. If you can not agree on sufficient areas, then you still have the option of calling it a day and trying for a better quality of life without them.