Birds

[oscarina]

I know birds are beautifuf creatures with all their exotic plummage etc, but why do they have to pooh continually on my garden fence furniture etc Why can't they save it all for David Attenborough's garden and fences!

[AlBags]

If you put up a couple of nut feeders and a water dish somewhere, they pprobably would not be on the fence or over the furniture : )

[oscarina]

Albags, thanks for that suggestion, but wouldn't that attract them more to the garden!

[askyourgran]

We have just had a delivery of well rotted manure for the front and back garden, it contains lumps of "this and that" twigs and leaves and mulchy stuff, the gardener cut the lawns and everything looked great. For the past three days I have been sweeping the paths and the lawns.Why?. Bl00%dy blackbirds nesting in the leylandii
ithey just chuck it all over the place to get to the slugs and other goodies in the mess, It;s like Beirut in my garden now!

[wildwood]

Perhaps if you paint the top view of a couple of humans on some paper and place them wherever, you get all the poopsies in the one place :-)

[askyourgran]

Try some windmills in strategic places they might scare them off.

[Avatar]

Begrudging a blackbird looking for a few worms to feed young ones because you get a bit of twig on your driveway? Miserable old broccoli.

[Avatar]

Broccoli?! What The Funicular? should have read S c r o t e

[Avatar]

For Funks Sake! What's offensive about What The Funicular?!

Lets try a few more and see what gets filtered.
elbow
botox
Snag
cock
mingeflaps
ringpiece
starfish
knob jockey