My strict work rules

bigfoot3000 | 22:42 Mon 26th Apr 2010 | ChatterBank

28 Answers

Dress Code.

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

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LOl, its funny aint it cherry ( hears sniper rifle) (Whispers) "Oh ssshi... I think I just got vibra shot... (Talks on secret collar mike) "Mayday mayday we have one man down at Ab cb coordinates"

wolf63

Back in 1980 when I started working we had Izal toilet paper. We had to fight for soft toilet roll. It was awful stuff - you could injure yourself using it.

The boys room had motion activated urinals - no doubt the Civil Service using up their budget so that they used their full entitlement for the year!