Coping with Depression

[Tiff_Sparkles]

I have suffered from depression for most of my adult life (I'm now 42). I made the decision to wean myself of anti-depressants which I have taken for 13 years and with the help of my GP, achieved this over the course of 8 months and became "drug free" in March this year.

However, I find myself really struggling to face the day again. I am so upset and disappointed with myself that I clearly can't cope without chemical enhancement. The thought of having to rely on medication every day for the rest of my life is so scary but when I think about the alternative, that is scarier. How do other people cope? I feel like I'm falling apart, becoming isolated from friends and work colleagues. The worst of it is I can see it happening but I feel utterley powerless to stop it.

[redman41]

Are there Herbal alternatives to these Chemical cocktails which you have taken for so long. Maybe what you are experiencing is the withdrawal symptoms having been on these tablets for such a long time. The more Medically aware may have a different explanation regarding your problems.......

[supersuezy24]

I really feel for you, I suffer with depression at various stages but not consistently, do you find when you see friends more that your mood improves?
Do you speak with a counsellor at all?

[LoftyLottie]

If you had an illness like diabetes or heart problems you would be taking medication probably for life and wouldn't feel so upset at having to take it. I have been taking anti depressants for years. They correct my over anxiety which is a brain chemical problem and coming off them isn't an option. I can get on with a reasonable quality of life - probably for life. This has been discussed with my doctor who has actually given me the information.

Short term depression is one thing - usually brought on by events, but a depressive/anxious personality is completely different.

Please don't feel bad or disappointed in yourself if you have to go back on the tablets. Anti-depressants are not the same as diazapam (valium) and are not addictive as such. Talk to your doctor. There are loads of us in the same position.

[andy-hughes]

Have to agree with the previous answers.

I had a catastrophic breakdowen twenty-one years ago, almost to the month. i was in a psychiatric ward for three months, and off work for nearly a year. i have battled to get my mental health back, and yes, it does involve medication for life.

i never have, and never will, see mediation as something to be rid of.

Why?

No-one is going to stand there at the end of your life, with a medal for living without medication.

It;s not a competition, so you haven't lost.

It's not a sign of weakness to take medication - as others have advised, if it waws insulin, you would probably be perfectly happy taking it.

My strong advice is that you give up this fight - which will only ever end in a pyrrhic victory.

You need your medication yto live your life, so don;t fight it. Embrace it.

I have taken a little pill every night for 365 days a year, for nearly twenty-one years. It's like brushing my teeth, and taking my specs off when I lay down to sleep - it's part of me.

Hope this will encourage you to see your GP a\nd get a prescription. Life gives you enough to suffer with - don't go looking for trouble, you only hurt yourself.

[Greedyfly]

I think you will find a lot of encouragment on here, I know for a fact quite a few Answerbankers either have or still do suffer with depression. I know what you mean when you say you can't seem to cope without chemical enhancement. I felt the same and went for about a year with nothing, I got worse and worse and didn't really see it myself until finally my family stepped in (thank god). Some people unfortunately need that little extra help, its nothing to be ashamed of but I can understand your frustration at it. I was on medication for about 7 years on and off and then one day decided that I felt strong enough to give them up, I still have bad bouts but I can cope with it so far - I am under no illusions that at some point in my life I will probably need to ask for help again.

The only thing I can suggest is to start taking the drugs again, whether you try the herbal route or the prescription route is up to you. But it sounds like the drugs you were on before were working for you - which is a rare thing, It took me a long time to find a drug that didn't make me worse or really ill everyday. Some people just need a little help every day, its hard for me to accept it like yourself, people tell me I am a strong person (if only they knew). I would take the advice of Andy Hughes and the others and try to embrace that your not broken or falling apart you just need a little help, like you would with any other illness. Hope you feel better soon and that you have someone in your life you can confide in.

[marval]

You have been given some good advice, one important thing is not to beat yourself up over it, beeing depressed and taking medication for it is not a sign of weakness. You have realised you have a problem, and have done something about it. I know you don't want to rely on medication, but sometimes the alternative is worse. I do believe that talking about things helps, and sometimes it is easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you. There is no shame in that, I suffer from depression, it comes and goes and I know it is not very nice. Never be afraid to see your GP or a nurse and ask about alternatives.

I hope that you can find the right help, even if it means taking tablets. Good luck and take care of yourself.

[Tiff_Sparkles]

Thank you all for your kind words and concern, I'm really overwhelmed at the warmth of your responses.

There hasn't really been any trigger for this current episode. Life is certainly very different to what it was 13 years ago when I started taking meds for depression. I have had counselling several times which has helped insofar as getting thoughts out of my head and into the open, but hasn't really resolved the problem. Perhaps I have to accept that it is something which is just inherent in me - I guess that's a possibility.

I didn't think I had a fantastic quality of life before coming off anti-depressants, but compared to how I feel now, I can see it was better. I wasn't leaping out of bed, but I didn't wake up feeling a sense of dread and wondering how I was going to get through the day.

I have made an appointment to see my GP tomorrow to talk things through. As so many of you say, you treat an illness such as diabetes with medication and wouldn't think twice about doing so, cos you need it to survive - I need to accept that depression is an illness and not a weakness of character - which is the way I think I've been looking at it.

Thank you all again so much. Wish I could hug you all xxxxx

[redman41]

Good luck Tiff-Sparkles, nice to see that you are being positive about your problem.
Life has much to offer you so be Optimistic.....

[Greedyfly]

I think I can safely say that we send you hugs back Tiff =)

[beso]

Take up exercise. It releases nature's own drugs. Endorphine.

One of the best is to join a group that runs to raise money for a good cause. Running is simple. It requires very little skill. It is also a meditation.

It will be hard at first and you will think you are a failure. Don't give up though because one day you will surprise yourself. It will build you inner strength and self esteem. Along with the Endorphine these things are the basis for a very health addiction.

[Mamyalynne]

I am so glad you have taken heart from all the wonderful advice given above, I cannot really add anything except to say that I too am on a low dose anti depressant and at first I too saw it as a sign of failure to cope. After all I was a strong woman who had been through the mill and propped up the whole family. But I now accept that I need the help and think no more about it.

Lots of love Tiff ♥