Suicide?

[LiverpoolLou]

DON'T WORRY I'M NOT IN THAT FRAME OF MIND.

What I wanted to ask was, what do you think of people who decide to take their own lives.

I posted an answer on here some months ago in regard to this. My ex boyfriend took his own life, it was 8 years ago. I still to this day wonder if only I'd have done this or that.....we had split up about 2 weeks before he did it.

After he had done it, his family and friends put him on a pedastal...made him out to be a saint....I can understand that....they don't see any wrong. It was always "rrr Marty, he was the life and soul of the party" But what his family didn't see was what went on behind closed doors. They blame me and still do now 8 years later........I could understand that a few years ago..yenno, you need someone to blame.....but now, I'm trying to get on with my life....I'm engaged to the most lovely fella....wish I could have met him years ago.....and I love him to bits.

I have had counselling over this, but I still can't get this niggling if only out of my head.

I think people who do this are selfish....someone said to me years ago.......I think he was brave to do what he did....and in my sorry state remember agreeing with this person........now 8 years later....sorry but people who do this type of thing are selfish and don't give 2 monkeys about who they leave behind.

[jno]

LiverpoolLou (and dave) you are only responsible for your own acts, not those of others. You do your best to make other people's lives pleasant (well, most of us do) but we have no control over how they respond, and should take no blame for it. Dave, you still have a long life ahead of you, don't think your dreams are at an end. Like Lou, you will always have scars... but we all have scars from one thing or another, it's part of gaining experience, and something to assess and learn from, not something to be intimidated by. Good luck to both of you

[nicnicnic]

Having nearly lost both of my parents to suicide, I think suicide is the most selfish thing anybody can do. I dont think the person does it realises the mess they will leave behind them, that some poor unsuspecting person has to clear up (I mean psychologically, financially etc). Aswell as that somebody actually has to find that person afterward, as my younger brother did, and it really screws them up. I just think it is totally selfish. Sorry if that offends anyone, but its just my opinion :) Thankfully everything is a million times better now!!

[goldenboy]

liverpool lou, 2 years ago my sister did commit suicide and as a family member, i used to think that breaking up with her boyfriend had something to do with it, but i also used to think that her living in poverty and having to bring up a child as a lone parent and having to deal with parents that argued also were a contributing factor. i dont blame her ex boyfriend anymore than i balme myself, and i'm sure as sh!t that she doesn't blame any of us. it's hard to be away from a person you love but i know that blaming anyone doesnt help anyone.

[LiverpoolLou]

Thanks so much to everyone who responded to this post. You are all absolutely brilliant.

Englishbird, I am really going to make a determined effort to bring closure to this now, deal with those niggling thoughts once and for all......Thanks so much for your kind words. XX

In A Pickle, many thanks to you too, I wish he could have been as strong as you. As I said to Englishbird, I'm going to try and deal with this, one of the niggling thoughts that I often think about was mentioned in nicnicnic's response about the people who find them, he was found by a security guard who had just finished his night shift and was walking through our local park and found him hanging from a tree. I did mention to my councillor that even though I have never met this person, I often wonder if he is o.k. I really hope he has been able to get on with his life. This is one of the reasons I used the word "selfish", he didn't give a thought to who was going to find him. It was mentioned in one of the posts that if he had made up his mind he was going to do it then he would have anyway, my doctor said exactly the same thing just after it happened.

Dave, good luck for the future XX.

Thank You all again.......God Bless. XX

[LiverpoolLou]

Thanks for that goldenboy, a few years ago my daughter met his nephew, this person was so bitter towards me after he did it. He told my daughter, I did blame your mum for what he did, but I don't anymore, ask her if she will meet up with me for a drink sometime. But by then, I felt so bitter towards them. I just wish the rest of them could think like you. XX

[TWINKYGIRL76]

To most people, suicide seems like a very selfish thing for a person to do. Families and freinds are left feeling as though they are in some way to blame, questions are left unanswered etc, but many people in this world feel that they just don't belong, don't want to continue with life and so end it by commiting suicide. There are many, many things that are still very much misunderstood, and just because we don't all understand them, does not automatically make them wrong for the individual who is suffering. I personally think that it is an individual's choice wheather they choose to end their life.
I'm sorry if that upsets anyone who has suffered such a loss.