My Boyfriend is still texting ex girlfriends

[Nay35]

A few days ago an ex of my Boyfriends phoned him on his mobile but he didn't answer because I was there. He wouldn't have told me if I hadn't have asked who it was. He said he would text her the next day. A couple days later I asked if he had replied to her and he said he hadn't. Then a couple of days later he went for a run and left his mobile at home and I did a terrible thing and looked at his phone and he had replied and even had offered to meet up when he goes home to his mum's for the weekend. What I don't understand is if it is totally innocent why would he lie about it.

[supersuezy24]

Ask him straight out..Start by saying I'm sorry I looked at your phone and then ask him whats going on..I bet he wouldn't be too keen on you arranging to meet with an ex eh?

[stonekicker]

...and make sure you bash him on the head with he phone...and flush the sim card down the toilet...and anything else you can think of in the heat of the moment (to make yourself feel better - for good advice, see ss24 above for details) x

[Roughquest]

He's obviously not a very bright guy leaving his texts on his phone for all to see, perhaps he is hoping you will go through his phone and see the texts, does he want to get back with his ex I wonder ?

[supersuezy24]

I' say he probably finished with the ex and maybe she still holds out hope which she shouldn't cause he's with you..I think it's best to talk to him x

[ganesh]

Guilty!!
He has lied about it and intends to meet up with her.
The only thing is he may be hiding it because he just wants to stay 'friendly' with her,and doesn't want you to get jealous or upset about it.
Only now you have so the only thing is to ask him outright.

[joggerjayne]

In what parallel universe is this acceptable behaviour ?

If my BF was texting his exes (which he wouldn't!) I'd dump him and tell him to get back in touch once he'd got his ex(es) completely out of his system.

[Eve]

Is there any context to it, can you tell by the text messages?

Could it be something mundane and innocent especially if she is a friend from home, has known him a long time etc...? It could be he is trying to keep the peace by not telling you.

I'm not saying it's innocent but it might need more looking into.

[Eve]

I am in touch with a number of my exes, something which has never caused a problem though I've always been very open and honest about it and I'm not a cheating person either.

Exes of mine have also been in touch with their exes on a completely innocent basis.

My last ex still got on very well with his ex wife and it was all fine, absolutely nothing in it. I respected that she had been a significant part of his life and we even went out together on the odd occasion, also with her partner, for dinner or drinks. She was always lovely to me. Made it a lot easier for mutual friends of theirs too that everyone got on.

[Nay35]

I think you are right Ganesh he has said that he is still friends with most of his ex's and he knows how jealous I get. Understandably as my ex husband cheated on me with his best friend's ex wife. I know I shouldn't tar my current bf with the same brush as my ex husband who is clearly a spineless Snag!!!!!

[joggerjayne]

The difference is, Jen ... you weren't keeping it a secret.

[ganesh]

He may be innocently wanting to stay in touch-we know nothing about his previous relationship or how long it went on for,and people do stay friends sometimes. Doesn't look good on the surface but I think Nay needs to find out the truth.She looked at his phone so she doesn't trust him which isn't a very good basis for a relationship.

[joggerjayne]

Maybe you should encourage him to stop. Something like ...

"If you text your ex ever again, I'll cut off one of your testicles when you're asleep"

... should do the trick.

[Eve]

That's very true. I'm really not a jealous person like that though so there was never any need for him to hide anything from me. More often than not they would meet for lunch just the two of them and I was completely fine with it as he was always open and honest with me.

[ganesh]

Joggerjayne-are you the posessive type by any chance?

[joggerjayne]

No, but I am fiercely loyal to my friends, and to my BF ...

... and I would expect a similar loyalty in return.

No secrets ... no furtive texting ... total trust.

[wiggal]

I'm still kind of on talking terms with my ex, although I still have a lot of stuff at my old house that he is going through and sorting out for me. Also money things need to be sorted and such! My partner has no problems with it, although I hate the fact that he is in contact with his ex, (I'm a very jealous paranoid kinda person!) but then they were together 15 years and have 2 children! So I'm just going to have to deal with it!

We are both completely open and honest with eachother about everything though, and he knows when I text my ex and the other way round.

If he was sending her the kind of messages you say you have found, then I would be out the door straight away!