Any suggestions for a 21st birthday present for my son?

[Granny B]

He has no idea what he wants, he has a well-paid job and just buys himself anything he fancies - so he can't think of anything. I came up with a couple of ideas, e.g. an intensive driving course (but he says he doesn't really need to drive where we live, which is true!) or a nice watch (but he doesn't wear them).  He's the best son you could hope for and I really want to get him something to show how much he means to me, and I want it to be something he can keep which isn't some fancy gadget that'll be obsolete in a few months.  Oh and he doesn't wear jewellery either!  The other thing is that when his sister turned 21 I wasn't very well off and only had about �50 to spend on her, whereas now I could afford to spend quite a bit more, but I don't know whether I should in case I make her jealous.  Any ideas please?

[georgit79]

a weekend away somewhere for him and a mate?

is he into music? you could get him a load of HMV/Virgin vouchers, although I know that's not too thoughtful

[Gemma1984]

A red letter day? they do flying golf etc etc

[Hendrix55]

I got my boyfriend a flying lesson and he really enjoyed it.  If you search for local flying schools they usually do one-off lessons.

[morg_monster]

How old is your daughter? If she is only a few years older than your son, then it might smart a bit if you spend a lot more on him than you did on her, especially if he is earning more than she was at that age.  But if she is much older than I'm sure she won't mind. 

At the end of the day I would only spend a LOT if you do think of something that he will really really love.  Spending a lot just for the sake of it is a bit of a waste, especially if he is earning plenty, and is probably more likely to make your daughter jealous!

I think the driving course is actually quite a good idea - surely he isn't going to be living in the same place forever, and getting your driving licence is a headache out of the way.  But it isn't that exciting I guess!

How about a nice framed photo or art (unless he really isn't bothered)? Something that'll look really nice in his room, and when he moves out, something to look at that will remind him of you.

Otherwise I agree with the others, an 'experience' would be good: yes, he might be able to afford it, but he probably wouldn't bother buying it for himself!  Maybe you could include your daughter by doing something all together.

[normyc]

Maybe not a red letter day, as the company went into receivership last week!

Get him an expensive bottle of wine or scotch he can put away for a special occasion,

[silly moo]

Quite often 21st presents are something to keep rather than something you would want 'now'.
Silver cufflinks , tankards etc etc
cryystal shot glasses
Loads of stuff around.

I think you should most definately spend approx the same amount (taking into account inflation) as you did on your daughter.
Not about making her jealous, just about treating them both equally.

[dmsjps]

Or if you have money now, spend not quite as much on your son and keep a bit to get something for your daughter, explaining to them both that as you couldn't afford it when your daughter was 21 and you can now, you'd like to have spent the same on both their birthdays. He won't mind and she'll be pleased with her belated 21st extra gift.

 

You could buy your son something to keep in his room that will increase in value over time - an antique something or other, a non-feminine ornament - or if he collects anything in particular, add to that. I think the framed print or photo is a nice idea too.

[Granny B]

Thanks for all your suggestions!

The "experience" sounds like a great idea, so I'm going to have a look at that.  One thing I have found is a personalised bottle of champagne, which I think is quite nice but I'm not sure he'd like it.

As to the money thing, what I was thinking was if I got him something like the driving course, obviously that would cost quite a lot more than the �50 I spent on his sister.  I wouldn't spend a huge amount just for the sake of it - the champagne I mentioned is only �35 for instance but it's quite a nice present I think.

I need to come up with about half a dozen things cos the whole family keeps asking me what they should get him! So keep those ideas coming please!!

[Tabby]

If you are looking for 'experiences' Asda now sell a number of different ones for �48.98. They include:

Wine Tasting for 2, Winch Glider Flight, White Water Rafting, Sphereing for 2, Scuba Diving for 2, Become a Racehorse Owner, London Eye for 2, Archive Newspaper, Total Styling, Pro Rally Ride, Golf Driving Range.

These can also be bought online at Asda.com, Then click the ' shop online ' tab at the top of the page. Next click 'take a look' at the bottom of the page. On the left hand side click 'home and leisure' Next 'gift experiences' on the left again. Finally click the 'i' on gifts for him.

PS I don't work for Asda!!

Happy Shopping

Tabby. 

[dmsjps]

If you need suggestions for others as well, what about a beer/whisky/whatever glass engraved with any message at your local engravers? At my nearest Sunday market there's a stall that will put a message on any type of glass, then wrap it in a tissue-filled gift box with an exra (teddy, clock, etc).

 

Another option to get good ideas is to invite his friends over to discuss with you while he's out of the way. If you explain what it's for they won't tell him. You should get some good info from them because they know him.

[Cristo]

Throw in a THIS IS YOUR LIFE  photo album as well. You can do this for both children at not a lot of cash. Assuming you have enough photos.

[Ward-Minter]

Now i know you said he doesn't drive but i am sure he will one day. How about a personalised registration plate. He will keep it for ever if he transfers it from car to car. You don't need a car to have a plate you just pay a retainer fee to DVLA.

[Romaz]

You could also 'adopt' an animal, there are loads around like WWF, Blue Cross etc, or even a child from a developing country to help with education etc.

An annual subscription to a magazine can also be good as an extra.

[FP]

I am a great believer in buying gifts for special occasions that don't cost a fortune but will last for ever. 

Therefore, son got the customary engraved tankard (a really lovely one) for his 18th and a full set of Lord of the Rings Books (yes, books!) for his 21st.  I also gave him some money to spend on what he wanted when he was 21, but it wasn't a fortune.  Some people are given cars, etc, but even if we could afford it, I wouldn't have done it.

My son was thrilled with both his gifts

[Granny B]

Thanks to all of you for your suggestions, sorry to seem like I was ignoring you all, my PC broke so I haven't been able to get online!

dmsjps - Asking his friends was a great idea, they said a couple of them had had hip flasks for their 21sts which he thought were really nice.  Why he couldn't have told me that himself I don't know....!  So that's what he's getting, I've found a really nice one which I'm getting engraved for him.  It's not expensive but they all said that they just wanted something to keep, not something that cost a fortune.

I gave my mum a list of everybody's ideas and she's passing it round the family so he'll probably end up with one of everything!

Thanks again for all your help :o)