One of my best friends split up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago. She is an absolute mess. They were due to get married next year.
The problem is, she see's me as her only friend. I have ALWAYS been there for her and am trying to help her through this the best I can (we've all had our heart broken at some point!)
Recently I have tried to help her and she is throwing it back in my face. She can be very selfish - for instance another very close friend of mine has tried to help her too, but she is very rude to her and I dont know why! She wonders why she has no friends - when it is quite obvious why!
I have just moved house and am starting a new career so I cant babysit her 24/7. How can I tell her not to be so selfish?!!!
tell her "Look we have been friends for long enough I have been there when you need me but you have to think of other people aswell, thats life people split upa nd I have a life aswell" make her feel guilty and in turn think of other people worse off than her
help her where you can but back off and concentrate on yourself..as if you have a new carreer then you need to concentrate on that..if you leave her to pull herself together she will snap out of it quicker..she is probably doing a lot of it for attention..so dont encourage that..as you have a right to live your life also..just come up with some flimsy excuses and back away..try to encourage her to do things go out etc..if she refuses just leave it at that..
When I was once is your friend's position I blathered on to anyone who'd listen - until one friend suddenly said in a loud voice: "DON'T COME TO ME WITH YOUR SELF-PITY". He remained a friend (still is) but I've never forgotten the jolt his words gave me. And those words worked.