Hot off the press

[McMouse]

Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still
alive. He said that the England Team performance on Saturday was completely
sh1t. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the
message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.

[craft1948]

Sorry Mouse the daughter sent this a few days ago........

[bigfoot3000]

Har de har har! That made me lol!

[McMouse]

Did she send you this one too.

Fifa have released a statement saying the fan didn't break into the
dressing room after all, but was let in by Rob Green.

[craft1948]

lol Mouse no she didn't............most of the ones she sent were far too rude to post.

[McMouse]

Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car
park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He
stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied,
"No way. You got yourself into this f*****g mess, don't ask me to sort it
out..."