Elderly father

[queries]

My dad, who is 86, has a lot of health problems - bad back, can't walk properly, very bad cough, failing memory and a very nasty skin lesion. He is very frightened of doctors and hospitals and won't have anything to do with them - unfortunately he needs to get medical help and my mother is now very worried as he is refusing to have the doctor round and he is physically unable to get to the surgery - even if he could be persuaded - has anyone experienced anything like this? We are all at our wits end about it and only want the best for him but he flies into a rage and my mum gets the brunt of his temper whenever she mentions it to him.

[ummmm]

What would he do if the doctor just turned up without his knowledge?

[yelenots]

I'm in a similar situation and when I feel the need for my Mum to see someone I ask the district nurse to visit - she doesnt mind her. She will listen to the nurse and if she advises that the Dr needs to see her she will accept that!

[tamborine]

My mum was similarly independant but once she collapsed at home we called paramedics who hospitalised her.

You may have to wait till you dad collapses, when he has no say in the matter.

[ethandron]

my dad was something similar, but not nasty, just didn't want to be a 'bother' to the doctor. so i took over, rang the surgery and arranged a house call without telling dad. i was there when the doctor came and the upshot was the doc pursuaded dad to go into the hospice 'just to get his medication sorted out'.
you can arrange a house call for him yourself, you don't have to go into great detail about how your dad doesn't know, etc. of course, it's up to your dad whether or not he speaks to the doctor once he's in the house. worth a go though as once the doctor has assessed him he'll be able to put other agencies in place if necessary, sounds like your mum could do with some support.