Hi Poodicat - see was 61 when she went and only knew she was really ill for about 4 weeks (which was nice for her) - but she didn't like my life choices (I gave up a good job in teaching to buy a pub with my husband - which didn't work out) and I have a lot of children. She was just quite judgemental and appeared to favour her children (and grandchildren) from her second marriage. She said lots of nice things to them before she went (yes, I know I haven't used the D word!) and she even changed her will two weeks before she went and told me I wasn't in it (I didn't/don't want any of her things - it's just the principle really - we would just spend it on taking the kids to Legoland or something!). I probabluy need a really good crying session, but my grandfather going so soon after was all a bit much really (think I would have been more devastated about him going if she hadn't have gone recently). Also feel really bad that that the last time I saw him was when we scattered my mother's ashes - not at a happy time.