Should I make contact

[milly143]

Evening all. I just wanted to ask for some advice/opinions on what you think I should do.

I've been estranged from my mother for nearly 9 years. This is due to the fact that she is a chronic alcoholic, to the point where she has been near to death a number of times. She has also been diagnosed with bi-polar. There was a final straw in our relationship where one mother's day, having been gone without a trace all day, she returned home at 10pm absolutely plastered and trashed the house. The next morning she kicked me out, along with one of my other sisters who was living with us and my stepdad. I returned a few hours later to collect some things to find she had already had the locks changed. Apart from passing her in town (without a word said) a few times, that was the last time I saw her. Since then, she has done and said some terrible things and now out of all her 7 children, only one of us has anything to do with her and bless him, he tries so hard. Anyway, to the rest of the family I have always put on a hard front and made some not overly nice comments about her, but as I am getting older I am wondering whether I should try and make some sort of contact. I often wonder if I don't, will I regret that when she is gone. I have to be honest and say that life has been easier without her in it. I'm just after some unbiased advice really.

[joannie10]

I can only empathise as never been in your situation. The fact that you are thinking about it and worrying you might regret it then I think you should go for it and try and make contact. I feel that you must be prepared to be rejected but then at least you now you have tried and are not left thinking 'what if' - good luck and I hope everything works out for you. xx

[Nosha123]

My Husband hasnt spoken with his mother in 5 years - and says he wont ever again.

he DOES say though that every now and again he stops to check whether he feels the same... and so far he does.

Ask yourself day by day and week by week - and if you reach the point that you miss her and feel she can bring something to your life then try it.

We are both far happier without MIL in our lives... and I am hoping it will stay that way!

If you never see her again - once she is gone - dont have regrets.. it was her behaviour that brought you here - not yours... If anyone should have any regrets it should be her!

I presume she knows where you are if SHE wanted to make contact...