adoption dilema

[zzxxee]

Friend of mine adopted as a single mum daughter is 6 she is 38.
She fostered her for a while and adopted her when she was 4.
Everything going well but my friend would like to try and adopt a sibling which daughter is not keen on.
Any ideas how to make the little one come round to the idea as she is adamant "i am the baby and i have a rabbit" thats all you need mum :) !!

[ummmm]

She'll just have talk about it with her and point out the benefits of having a brother or sister.

And maybe face it realistically - if she was pregnant what would she do then? There has to a certain element of 'this is going to happen' but just let the child get use to the idea.

[milly143]

I know nothing about adoption at all but I'm with Ummm on this. Is she part of any group for adoptive parents, or does she know of any? I'm sure this will have come up with lots of other adoptive parents who would be able to give her some advice.

[zzxxee]

she cant have children naturally. Daughter is very possesive

[zzxxee]

The adoption agency she is with have a brilliant support network which extends out to other adoptive families, i think she is just scared of tipping the applecart but would dearly love to take on another child

[ummmm]

Even so...when people can have children naturally they don't not have anymore because their child doesn't want one.

That's the child dictating to the parents. Adoption takes quite a while, she has plenty of time to get the child use to the idea.

Milly's suggestion is a good one..

[zzxxee]

i think because it would involve a major move they only have a two bed house so i would imagine she would need a bigger place , little girl is secure and happy and i think would dread a move as she feels secure for the first time in her short life
she really is a lovely kid

[ummmm]

You still can't let a child dictate what you do. Families have to move house all the time. It's part of life. Families have more children. It's part of life. Kids just have to adapt to the situation.

[milly143]

I can imagine it must be difficult because of what you say about the feeling secure. A biological child will (hopefully) have always felt secure with their parents but if this little girl is not long starting to feel comfortable for the first time in her life then her Mum must be worried about making her feel uncomfortable again, especially if it would mean they would have to move to a new house. I hope it all works out well for her. I have so much respect for people who adopt.

[horseshoes]

I'm speaking entirely from experience here. I was an only child until I was almost 12. I was never spoilt in the sense that I was ALWAYS encouraged to share etc. My Mum and Dad divorced and my Mum remarried. I can always remember the evening she told me she was having a baby. I feltas if the bottom had fallen out of my world. I actually said "well I won't like it"! It! Can you imagine how my poor Mum felt. Anyway, my sister was born and I was allowed to pick her name. You could try that. If she picks one you don't like you can always have it as a second name. I remember being as pleased as punch with that. She'll come round - other children HAVE to. PS I do love my little sister.

[zzxxee]

i totally agree with a lot of your comments. It has to be her decision i will pass on your comments to her thankyou x