What do i do about my boyfriends bitter mum?

[SizzleSquid]

Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs. In the first year and a half we had relationship problems where he was dishonest (not unfaithful) to me and i vented my frustrations over facebook during this time. It wasnt anything bad-but she is a friend on my page. Anyway she spoke to us both one time and we apologised realising it was childish and i havent done it again since-we both have moved on now and are happily living together. I had also given her a different name that i was going to change by deed poll but decided at a later date not to and my boyf told me she probably thought i lied to her when clearly i did not considering i added her on facebook under my real name.

I saw her about a year and a half ago and she seemed fine with me. Since then, she hasnt spoken 2 me, ignores my messages and i havent been invited 2 any of his family events and he wont let me go when she is there or to his nans. I dont know what i have done to her as my boyfriend says he has no idea but he thinks the facebook thing has something to do with it although i have seen her since then and she was fine with me. I havent been inside his familys houses for almost 2 years and i find this strange in a relationship as long as ours. He doesnt see her very often although i am always encouraging him to go and my boyf said she might blame me for that-how is it my fault if he doesnt go to visit his mum thats down to him i cant force him to go-i do genuinly tell him. I wrote her a heartfelt message on facebook (i didnt want to text her) asking if there is anything i have done wrong that i can rectify and that id like a rship with her and she ignoned me. If im going to have a future with my partner i cant have this rift going on-i dont even know what ive done.I explained i wanted a rship with her its fallen on deaf ears. Do i remove her from my page and life and act like she doesnt exist or do i pursue her? what if we have children? all this is stressing me out.

[4getmenot]

remove her and go round to see her, non of this messaging lark

[ummmm]

I agree with 4get...remove her and either go and see her or phone her.

Facebook is a nightmare for parents. I read some of the status updates and get the urge to kill people.

[SizzleSquid]

shes always on facebook and she inboxes my boyfriend all the time so facebook isnt a problem for her and its the only way i have of contacting her-as my boyfriend wont let me have her phone number-i cant go to see her she lives far, I mentioned to him what would he do if i ever went to see her and he said i wouldnt like it meaning shed either hit me or shut the door in my face etc etc so i dont think thats a good idea-shes only 47 so shes not elderly in case you guys thought that. Shes generally a pretty angry person my boyf has detaiked many of her fights with people she took a disliking to. So bad idea for me to go.

[ummmm]

If that's the case delete her and thank your lucky stars you don't have to put up with her. Her loss...

[factor-fiction]

When I saw the title I wondered whether this was in Food and Drink.
But seriously I agree ummmm if a face to face meeting is out of the question

[karenmac60]

Just Accept it - I have only been in my MILs house twice, once to show her my engagement ring nearly 6 years ago and once to collect my OH 5 years ago. She invites him up for dinner all the time, but only on the nights she knows I work. She never speaks to me and has never sent my daughter a birthday card. I'll see her for an hour on Xmas day and that'll be it till next year. I've never done anything to cause this and I did bend over backwards to make her like me at first, but then I realised I wasn't getting anywhere and it didn't matter anyway - I was marrying her son not her. Be happy in your relationship and leave your BF to deal with his mum himself.

[woofgang]

strikes me that most of the info about his mum comes to you via your BF. Are you sure he is telling you the truth about how she feels about you?...he has lied to you before....

[SizzleSquid]

thanks karen nice to know theres others in the same boat-woolf im not sure as she has totally ignored me so there has to be truh in what he is saying and i heard her tell him once to put the phone down on him when i rang him once when he was with her. Weird thing is she liked me at first-now she doesnt.
Guess ill have to accept ill never have that nice family situation where everybody visits each other and gets along if i have her grandkids then im not going to bother taking he or she to see her if she is going to cut herself off like this-its sad as i come from a greek family where this nonsence is unheard of.
Issue is if my mother were to know this shed tell me to end the rship based on this alone.