My itchy orifice

[McMouse]

is fundamentally irritating. What to do?

[NazNomad]

Firstly, learn the difference between scratching and tearing.

[ChuckFickens]

and invest in

http://www.cachebeaut..._stght_nailcutter.jpg

[rowanwitch]

clean well and add lots of vaseline

[jackthehat]

You could try inserting your joke-book...............
It may not help you much but I feel that I can speak for the rest of us when I say........:o)

[McMouse]

Thanks chuck.......lol

[NazNomad]

If it doesn't fit. try the Ed's joke book.

[Booldawg]

go and have a good old dig. that'll sort it.

[tiggerblue10]

Take 2 leeches and.................

[mccfluff]

put deep heat on it

[oranger]

Is deep heat like wintergreen?

[mccfluff]

don;t know what's wintergreen?

[oranger]

An old fashioned muscle rub used by footballers and rugby players, you could smell it miles away.

[mrs_overall]

Cut open a strong chilli & rub it on.
It will take your mind right off the itching

[carrust]

An old rugby practical joke was to put fiery jack on a new players underpants. Used to be great fun watching them hopping & squirming in the bar after the match.:-))

[society]

You've got worms...

[McMouse]

Oh no I haven't.

[mccfluff]

yep similar stuff, i love your avatar btw

[starone]

Perhaps he doesn't mean that orifice!