Dealing with department heads

[Kimmiebear]

Hope this is where I should post this question. My department head and I don't get along, which leads to tension between us and other staff members. I find that we are very false to each other, and just work around each other passively. I find her unapproachable to talk to about issues that I have, and I feel like she gives me all of the yucky and tedious jobs to do. Last year at my evaluation I scored below acceptable on almost half of the requirements, although the manager said that she was pleased with my work, as did the company owner. It was a total shock to me as I thought that my work was acceptable. I just don't know how to deal with someone that I can't talk to. I want to bring up problems I have with her, to her. But I feel like I would have to get the manager involved and then I am afraid that things could get really ugly. (last time she was mad at me she slammed doors for a good week!) Any advice is welcome
Kim

[andy hughes]

Why not have a 'clear the air' conversation?

It is possible that your DH feels the antipathy, and is equally unsure of how to proceed.

You could have a private conversation, perhaps over a lunch or a drink - being in public ensures no raised voices.

Lay your feelings out honestly, and avoid accusations, in tone, or in langauge. Consider that your DH will fel defensive, you need to tread carefully.

Point out that this is a communication problem for both of you, and you want to be able to move forward with her in a mutually beneficial way. Agree that you will discuss any problems with each other as they arise, and thus prevent them from festering, as they  have in the past.

Once you have agreed the way forward - talk about general matters - leave your issues until the day after - Day One of your new working relationship. Bringing them up after your talk will leave your DH feeling under attack - you want her to have a few hours to mull over what has happened, and appreciate that you have broken this deadlock between you.

It will be uncomfortable initially, but it will be worth it, so grit your teeth and go for it. Good luck.

[Scarlett]

I sympathise- I had this with my ex-boss.

You are entitled to an appraisal every now and again in which you can say how YOU are finding the work, as well as how they are finding you. You should ask for a formal appraisal with your boss and someone from personnel, or the manager. Then tactfully raise your problems.Say how disappointed you were at your last evaluation, and you would like to know exactly what you did that was below acceptable, since you had received mixed messages about the quality of your work from different people.

You will probably find that your boss has a problem with you because you are 1) cleverer 2) more talented 3) prettier 4) worth more to the company 5) better at your job than she is, and she is jealous! Or could just accept that you will never be best buddies, and spend more time with your friends at work, having a laugh, and not worrying too much what this disagreeable person thinks of you.

p.s my boss has now been promoted so I don't have to deal with her at all. I can now see that she was the problem! I just worked really hard, and it was NEVER good enough. Some people are just horrible!!