Soulectomy

[Dr]

Where would the primary inciscicion be made to begin the removal of ones SOUL and surrounding tissue?

[incitatus]

surgery is unnecessary. Just join the conservative party.

[darth vader]

or start the slimfast diet

[jenstar]

Just behind the toes. And it's spelt SOLE.

[rekstout]

The soulectomy or "promotion to management" as it is also known is a simple and painless procedure which can be performed as follows

Administer general anaesthetic by calling a "team meeting" (minimum 1 hour). Pupils should now be fixed and dilated, body listeless, some drooling is normal.

Begin by excising sense-of-realism and compassion for co-workers. If you should accidentally lop off sense-of-humour as well then this is a bonus but not stricly necessary for a successful soulectomy.

Reconnect ears directly to mouth, bypassing brain, allowing more efficient regurgitation of corporate mantras.

Fill cavities left by removal of above organs with an artificial "buzzword generator" which will stimulate the mouth into spouting up-to-the-minute phrases should the jaw remain inactive for more than ten seconds

Finally, before closing up, remove heart and replace with a lump of coal

[comloulou]

Read Philip Pullmans 'Northern Lights, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass'

[xyzzyplugh]

The soul is all pervading, just like our memory and our consciousness, it is in every cell. More of an aspect of us rather than an appendage :-) http://www.hknet.org.nz/GP-KnowSoulBG.html

[mikewith]

rekstout - that gets my vote for Post Of The Month.

[Andromeda]

Seconded - absolutely class reply, rekstout!

[bluedolphin]

After working for 25 years and paying your tax (like a fool) then having to go to hospital as a public patient with a life threatening disease and witnessing the state of the system. Totally soul destroying.